Hello to all fellow GYE warriors,

Being that the thread that I started a year back was moved at some point to the BB Forum, I have decided to start a new thread here for all to see.

Perhaps at a later point I can recap my own story that is posted on my thread, but for the message here it's not so relevant.

Over the last week or so, I've had the Zchus and honor of meeting a few of the GYE Gedolim in the Tri-State area. This is after being in touch with them by phone periodically over the last year or so while in EY. Aside from the personal Toeles from meeting them, I was hit by an insight that I feel is relevant to anyone here.

THERE IS HOPE!

Very often we are plagued by thoughts of guilt, shame and despair that tell us we are doomed, damned, and done.
Doomed because of what we've been exposed to.
Damned because of what we've been through.
Done with trying, because we'll never succeed, and even if we do - the scars will never leave us.

Perhaps these are rational thoughts, but they are most definitely the עצת היצר who works hardest after we fall, to keep us in the pit. 

The members that I met with are all GYE members who have their own respective history, and today are "Oisgeboite" Talmidei Chachamim, Ovdei Hashem, and Mashpi'im in one way or another.

And I'm sure that there are many more, that I have not yet been Zoche to meet.

The stark reality that it's possible to pull oneself out, to grow and reach a place of GADLUS has never been more clear.

That doesn't mean to say that it's easy, quick or going to happen in one day. But it will at some point.

There is no quick-fix to self growth, and that's something that can impede our climb to greatness, as we fall back in, in my own experience especially after long clean streaks 

That's all I wanted to share with the Oilam, new or veteran, at whatever stage of your journey.

Don't give up, you can rise high.
VERY HIGH.

Super powerful, R' Sison.

If I can expound on this - given I was in the gutter for a long time - thinking I'll never ever get out.......... It actually makes a lot of sense. Many of us here (you included, R' Sison) are people that are big בעלי מעלה, whether in Torah, Mitzvos, Middos, or whatever other part of Avoda you can think of. We share a common fault in that we struggle with Kedusha issues. Once we gain control of the beast (we're never rid of the monster i.e. urges, ever) all of our maalos are able to fully shine and take us where we were always headed............

This is true of you, R' Sison, but also true of so many others here....

מים עמוקים בלב איש, ואיש חכם ידלנה...........

With a ton of brotherly love for my brother who will reach that sky soon,
Muttel

Thank you, dear Reb Muttel. 
I hope that when I'm in Lakewood soon, I'll be zoche to meet you, again.

This is so true that the YH hits hardest those that have infinite potential for growth and Kedusha, and sadly enough he racks up a few points here and there.

In being perfectly honest with the Oilam - after thinking that I plugged up all loopholes, I found another one.
I came to the realization that "If you can't beat 'em, Break 'em. And I smashed my (not-so) trusty smartphone of 2.5 years, with all it's data and strings attached.  See the attached picture, that used to be the front of my phone.
It has been a very liberating feeling over the last few days, and hope that it continues to be so.
Oh heck, it's inconvenient, especially now when traveling. 
But pornography is way less convenient.

BEZH

Wow! Very very special.