altehmirrer wrote on 02 Jul 2025 03:20:

What strength it must have took for a yid from your dor to post such a post!
WOW!!!

Hi dear chevra, just checking in bh today is my 200th culminative clean day, yes i did have 9 falls, i still have a way to go but bh i am growing!! (as in the past there were no real clean times....) as time goes on i am settling down, becoming more and more grounded, there was a new birth 209 days ago, but unlike the new baby this one came with a baggage, so it can take some time figuring things out, and with all the yedios in this head of mine one of my main avodos is to connect the brain with the heart, feel the truth......



Hatzlocha to all my dear buddys!

the @alteh

wow!

not the same YH like in the past, this time around you get up and push him down....

altehmirrer wrote on 14 Jul 2025 18:09:

What an incredible milestone - 200 clean days! That's truly something to celebrate. Your perspective on growth despite falls shows such wisdom and maturity. The fact that you're seeing real clean stretches now when there weren't any before is massive progress that shouldn't be understated.

I love your metaphor about the new birth 209 days ago - it's so true that unlike a baby, we come with all this baggage and conditioning that takes time to work through. Your awareness about connecting brain and heart, moving from knowing to truly feeling the truth, shows you're doing the real inner work that creates lasting change.

Keep celebrating these victories along the way. You're not just counting days - you're building a completely new relationship with yourself and your spiritual growth. The chevra are rooting for you as you continue this beautiful journey!

Hi chevra! the past few days have been hard for me, i think that part of it has to do with the end of the z'man feeling, and a few other small things, which just made me feel pretty useless lonely and therefor depressed, i even had a machshava to just call the chat lines, as that's where i can escape to and find people intereted in talking..........., bh instead i reached out to a dear friend:wink: spoke to him for 20 minutes, shared what's going on, and shmoozed about דברים של מה בכך, and bingo bh i'm feeling alot better! this really works!! thank you chevra i would not be able to do this without you!

wishing us all much hatzlocha!
The @alteh

Wow you are a hero keep on going 

Wow you are a hero keep on going 

Wow you are a hero keep on going 

Wow you are a hero keep on going 

Hello chevra! I had the hardest 2 weeks in a very long time, there is a certain "fantasy" that I had for a while, a long while, and for whatever reason I "finally" had the opportunity to act on it, chevra I came this close:cry:, I had zero yishuv hadaas, no menuchas hanefesh, i would wake up and think about it all day, literally,  then go to sleep and dream about it...., i don't want to get to detailed here, but it wasn't all about sexual stuff, it's alot deeper...., and i wasn't sure what i really wanted, it was tough, i wasted so much energy....., bh i think that i am coming out of it with a clarity on my part that i don't want this at all, (p.s. I did end up doing things that I regret along the way, and i fell), hatzlocha raba.

I am so happy you gained this clarity. There's nothing like clarity.

On another note I am so sorry to hear you had some falls going through this particular test. I wish you the best bouncing back up and shteiging a velt in the Mir on the next leg of your journey!