Hi everyone, I have come to GYE many times over the last two years. What typically ends up happening is that I start it after a series of falls, then once I become confident again, I go off of it, have a long streak, then fall again. I’ve had streaks for about 2 months a couple of times, but fall again. Now I’m back in the same place. I am B”H a Baal teshuva and p and m is by far my largest challenge in my Avodas Hashem. Most things that don’t stem from it, I have adopted pretty well. I’m getting kind of used to this cycle which I think is for sure bad. I lean towards being Chassidish but even in general, it’s hard to picture my growth in Yiddishkeit if I always am dragging this along. I’m 18, and have been dealing with this for many years already R”L. I would be grateful to hear what people say. Thank you

Welcome!

Youre one of many both in regards to the struggle, and in regards to “taking the foot off the pedal” when things are better. Now, with posting, you’ve officially joined the warmest family in Klal Yisroel! Stick around, learn the ropes, and kick the damned beast, forever!

I’d highly recommend reaching out to Hashem Help Me, the chief mentor on the site (michelgelner@gmail.com). He’s helped many, me included.

Best of luck with all, 
Muttel

Welcome to the warmest family in the world!

Here you will find true care, concern, and warmth.
Here you will learn that you CAN break free!
There are many tools here to help you in this fight.
There is the F2F Program, the Vaad Program, the book The Battle of the Generation - many have found this very helpful in reframing the struggle.
(Captain, I got the link! It's right here!)

There is also an extremely powerful tool of accountability, friends, and mentors, as has been mentioned, that has helped hundreds - myself included.
HHM - Hashem Help Me - is the mentor-in-chief around here. He's reachable at michelgelner@gmail.com. Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com, and iwannalivereal - iwannalivereal@gmail.com are a great place to start!

Looking forward to seeing great things from you!
And don't forget, as always, KOMT!!

I would Reiterate proudyungerman, the way forward is to reach out to one or all of the above amazing people.  For me personally reaching out has been life changing.  Don't be shy everyone is super friendly, understanding and caring.  We are in this together and we can all help each other.