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The story of my journey
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TOPIC: The story of my journey 193 Views

The story of my journey 18 Aug 2024 00:39 #419324

  • rocky21
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It all started when I was 15 and got a  smartphone.
it didn't take long before I started  p&m almost every single day a couple times a day  for a whole year consecutively until one day I literally just broke down and did the only thing I can think of and tell my parents it was the most embarrassing thing and one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life if not the hardest but also the greatest thing I could have done, they help me with it and that lead to 5 years with no masterbation and like 4 years without watching just maybe really small falls like literally once a year.But unfortunately lately after almost 5 straight years I entered the real world where woman our in the work place and I had my first fall , so right away I told my parents and of course they got me right back on track and that lasted half a year until I fell again and since then I just felt to bad to tell them again so since then I've been doing bad with only having streaks of a couple of weeks and I think that's because I'm like hey I've been clean for only 30 days I've literally gone years without watching so this is nothing so let's fail and restart because 30 days is nothing it's like I'm almost making up for all the years I didn't watch when all my friends were watching so I guess what's hard is that it feels so hard to get back to my old glory but I'm of course still fighting and trying to take small wins at a time

Re: The story of my journey 18 Aug 2024 01:07 #419325

  • upanddown
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Welcome to the GYE family!
Wow, 4-5 years clean... what amazing self control! You really have great כוחות!
But every age & stage in life is a new experience of this Nisayon, as you said, eventually you got to the "real world" where you had some falls...  so perhaps instead of trying to get back to the "old glory" you should focus on creating your new glory? 
Either way, you've come to the right place.. make some friends and find the tools that work for you and iyH you'll be very successful.. 

Keep fighting and keep us posted...
Looking forward to hearing from you!

UpAndDown
My favourite resources:
1. "זאת בריתי". hebrewbooks.org/56572 (PM me for a sharper version)
2. "שערי גדולה". hebrewbooks.org/48344
3.  guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

My journey: Emunah struggles, Celebrating a fall, I'm fed up(main thread), I'm drowning, Tips for Shmiras Einayim.

Re: The story of my journey 30 Aug 2024 15:51 #420433

  • rocky21
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Thank you very much 
I'm hoping that when I become clean in a place where there are beautiful young girls all around me and I'm still able to control my self then most other things in life will be a breeze bh

Re: The story of my journey 30 Aug 2024 16:25 #420435

  • livingagain
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rocky21 wrote on 30 Aug 2024 15:51:
Thank you very much 
I'm hoping that when I become clean in a place where there are beautiful young girls all around me and I'm still able to control my self then most other things in life will be a breeze bh

The nisayon will always be there but it will get easier
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