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TOPIC: trying to stay pure 2191 Views

trying to stay pure 23 Jul 2024 23:05 #417627

stopsurvivingstartliving
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hey there i'm new to the forum and i figured i will introduce myself. i am a bochur who was in a top mesivta and beis medrash. At one point a few months ago i started watching porn. my shame was bad and i reached out to gye and they hooked me up with an amazing mentor who i contact almost every night via text if that day was a clean day. bh i was clean since then with a few falls.
i am in israel now and the streets are filled with hashems beautiful human beings and i cant control myself from looking. all this causing masturbation almost on a daily basis. Anyone with practical eitzos and words of chizuk i'll be glad to hear.
Sincerely,
stopsurvivingstartliving

SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.]
Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread)

Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com.
My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: trying to stay pure 23 Jul 2024 23:13 #417631

Captain
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Welcome! Try strengthening yourself with these great free resources:

1) The Battle of the Generation: a sensational free ebook that seriously gets you excited to fight and win this fight. It's a real game-changer.

2) The Fight: an incredible audio series from Rabbi Shafier.

Links are below in my signature. Wishing you much success!

In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: trying to stay pure 23 Jul 2024 23:31 #417633

vehkam
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What captain said….
The goal is to work on your perspective so that you want to look away more than you want to look.
this may sound difficult, but it is attainable.

best wishes
vehkam

vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me. Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.

some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me. This is ok. I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves. If you do realize that you know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Last Edit: 24 Jul 2024 03:36 by vehkam.

Re: trying to stay pure 24 Jul 2024 00:33 #417636

amevakesh
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Welcome Bachur to the forums. There are a lot of עצות and חיזוק in the holy book that the Captain and Vehkam mentioned. But if really want to conquer the beast in a big way, and you're brave, try reaching out to one of the Chevra here. If you're in EY try getting a hold of Yiftach. He's an awesome guy that will be able to help you in a major way. You'll be understood in a way that will surprise you. You won't be judged and he'll be able to give you those עצות in person. There's no comparison, reading about good ideas that work, to getting them from someone that you have a relationship with.

To clarify the benefits of reaching out. The YH thrives on keeping you isolated, and making you think that you're the only Frum, Yeshivish, Chasidish (or whatever you label yourself as) guy out there that has these problems. It can be daunting, but like so many people here can attest to, it's worth the effort. Once you call and meet someone in person, and make a קשר with someone who you see is a חשובע בן תורה, you will see that you're really not in this alone. 'אינו דומה קריי' לשמיעה, ואינו דומה שמיעה לראיי Traveling this road together with friends makes it that much easier. Hatzlacha Rabbah!

Feel free to email me at amevakesh23@gmail.com

Last Edit: 24 Jul 2024 00:35 by amevakesh.

Re: trying to stay pure 24 Jul 2024 11:25 #417656

yiftach Current streak: 426 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 365 Karma: 31	If you're in EY try getting a hold of Yiftach. From my experience, it's not that difficult to get a hold of him.
	Looking forward to get to know you better! Email me @ yiftach1609@gmail.com or call/text 347-201-4989 (Google voice) My story is unfolding here "יפתח ה' לך את אוצרו הטוב"

Re: trying to stay pure 24 Jul 2024 15:34 #417684

stopsurvivingstartliving Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 429 Karma: 28	thanks to everyone for your words of chizuk and eitzos. a special thank you to amevakesh for giving me the idea to reach out to yiftach. and a even bigger thanks to yiftach who gave me over 45 minutes of his time today.
	SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.] Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread) Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com. My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: trying to stay pure 24 Jul 2024 17:52 #417711

yiftach
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A Jew yearns with all his might,
His heart afire with a guiding light.
To do what's right, his soul does yearn,
In a world where he longs to learn.

Streets of stone beneath his feet,
Yet adorned with people, each one sweet.
Every stroll, a chance to prove
He's better than the rest, mountains he moves.

A cause for celebration, not for shame,
His spirit aflame, a joy to acclaim.
Through the door, his presence gleams,
With a radiant face, he enters the scene.

באהבה,
יפתח

Looking forward to get to know you better!

Email me @ yiftach1609@gmail.com or call/text 347-201-4989 (Google voice)

My story is unfolding here

"יפתח ה' לך את אוצרו הטוב"

Re: trying to stay pure 24 Jul 2024 20:23 #417723

stopsurvivingstartliving Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 429 Karma: 28	thanks so much. beautiful!
	SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.] Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread) Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com. My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: trying to stay pure 01 Aug 2024 17:31 #418260

stopsurvivingstartliving Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 429 Karma: 28	For all the ODAAT fans see todays vayimaen which brings out the change each day brings you, from the story of r akiva and the rock.
	SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.] Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread) Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com. My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 11:41 #418333

stopsurvivingstartliving Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 429 Karma: 28	I really want to read the battle of the generation. I got the pdf and the audiobook but I really prefer the hard copy. The problem is I don't really have private time to read it. My question is if friends see me reading it and they take a look at it will that give away that I'v been a porn-watcher, or it can look like I am battling the basic shemiras einayim?
	SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.] Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread) Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com. My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 13:06 #418335

Muttel Current streak: 290 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 593 Karma: 26	I think you can say your father sent it to you and told you that parts of it are for people that were nichshol in kedusha problems (that are CERTAINLY not applicable to you!), but you'll benefit anyway.... That's what I would do. Here's wishing you tremendous הצלחה וברכה בכל הענינים, Muttel
	We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! Muttel15@gmail.com Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google) Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 13:47 #418337

BenHashemBH
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I'm about 150 pages in, and I think the author is living up to what he stated in the very beginning - it is written for all people at all levels.
It is great for shmiras einayim, and important yesodos and mindsets in general.
Could be that some people will make assumptions, but it's not a blatant "I watch porn" message to the world.
It would also be majorly applicable to helping you raise a healthy family in these times.
If someone asked, I'd not say why I'm reading it, just share any of the endless Torah life messages that the author is writing about.
Hatzlacha

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 13:54 #418339

vehkam
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stopsurvivingstartliving wrote on 02 Aug 2024 11:41:

I really want to read the battle of the generation. I got the pdf and the audiobook but I really prefer the hard copy. The problem is I don't really have private time to read it. My question is if friends see me reading it and they take a look at it will that give away that I'v been a porn-watcher, or it can look like I am battling the basic shemiras einayim?

It is definitely not a giveaway. Everyone can gain from this book and there is nothing explicit at all. No descriptions of specific falls. I have it on my bookshelf.

Last Edit: 02 Aug 2024 13:55 by vehkam.

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 14:03 #418341

Muttel Current streak: 290 days OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 593 Karma: 26	vehkam wrote on 02 Aug 2024 13:54: I have it on my bookshelf. I have it out as well.
	We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! Muttel15@gmail.com Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google) Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: trying to stay pure 02 Aug 2024 14:15 #418343

stopsurvivingstartliving Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Gold Boarder Posts: 429 Karma: 28	Thanks so much guys! WIth that said does anyone know if it's sold as a hard copy in israel?
	SSSL's Story (Google Doc) [You will need to request permission, which I'm happy to give.] Holy In Jerusalem (My Thread) Feel free to say hi or send some chizuk over @ stopsurvivingstartliving2024@gmail.com. My google voice number got shut down, so I won't be able to receive or send messages from there.