Great to have a Frank discussion with your Rav and/or a Gadol. For the weak of heart, you can still do the same thing and bring the letter in and discuss, with the classic "for a friend" meaning you don't have to say it is you. You can say you have a friend you are close with who confided in you etc. 

Also, you can send a letter in without signing your real name. What is the big deal? Better than nothing. Of course, better to talk in person...