WOW WOW WOW! 
I'm really not sure I believe you that it's only 90 days since you came! My friend, keep sharing and inspiring, lighting up the way for so many of us!

Ashrecha shezachisa - You came here not too long ago, but you had a fire. That fire did not extinguish one bit, it flakered away. And now you're holding at 90! MAZAL TOV! 

Ashreinu Shezachinu - We're delighted beyond words that you joined the train. The chizzuk you provide, the eitzos, validation and support is something else!

Keep on flakering that אש תמיד תוקדש... לא תכבה! 

It's a zchus to get to know you!

A friend,

Yiftach'l 

We walked outside into the misty parking lot instantly connecting like the closest of friends.
Bonding over shared challenges, shared pain, and yes, shared successes and purity. 
Reminiscing of his flight taken like an Eagle, I stood spellbound and gained new respect and appreciation
For one that overcame so much and stands a victor in the great battle, a proud General bearing spoils of war.
  
R' Eagle, the inspiration and warmth you provided today was priceless! The shteigen, understanding, insight,
And such friendship, though brand new chronologically, so firm and deep like so many GYE relationships......

That parting hug, silently expressing so much without any words,
Expressing support,
Expressing relief,
Expressing understanding,
Expressing love,
Expressing friendship,
Expressing connection,
Expressing aliya,
Expressing respect,
Expressing hope,

Expressing the power of GYE, the power of harnessing friendship to get מבירא עמיקתא לאיגרא רם........

With brotherly love, and the hope to meet again soon,
Muttel

The poetry of R' Muttel, emotional yet sane,
A small glimpse into his essence, far from simple or plain,
As others stated, a fire blazes warm and bright,
A cause to take notice, a beacon of light.

A movement is born, mentors with might,
With passionate strength, pulling yedidim from the black night,
R' Muttel can't stop, a mageifa rages among our best,
Downtrodden friends, unable to withstand the test.

With a strength so pure, exalted focused and well aimed,
And a heart brimming with love, exuding interest in yenem's pain,
His 90 is like nine thousand, an expert healer - that's him.
May Hashem bless him with hatzlocha from without and within!

I once knew a prince with armor so bright, 
His brown eyes were wellsprings of truth,
He poured over volumes, he swayed in delight,
An image of wholesomeness, youth. 

But the dragon of darkness unfurled his black scales,
and wrapped him in venomous coils, 
choking in seething and shadowy tales,
his pure heart was vanquished and soiled.

Until came the great day that he rose up in fire, 
like a phoenix, was born from his ashes,
The white flame of his heart lances out to inspire - 
A legend to uplift the masses! 

He lept in with fervor, disregarding the shame, 
Candid and eager for learning, 
With friendship and warmth meeting one then another, 
His Neshona so passionately burning.

Your Talmidim are lucky, their hope is reborn, 
They feel you relate to their pain,
with love and compassion their journey you chart, 
To rejoice in Tahara again! 

Oh Muttel - a prince you were ever, it’s true
With a spirit that yearns to soar free
So it fills me with joy to see you reclaim you, 
And to embrace your sublime destiny !! 

And now, ever higher, you soar on broad wings, 
Your warm heart as huge as the sky- 
A paladin’s quest to embrace and support, 
And raise אידיש קינדער up High. 

Old friend rediscovered, the chapters untold, 
Now tell the ENTIRE Story, 
Admiring eyes look to Bentch you with Ahava, 
Keep going, ever upwards, to Glory!

בצפייתך לישועה, ידידי, קיימת באהבה ״אלמדה פושעים דרכים וחטאים אליך ישובו״, וגם ״השיבה לי ששון ישעיך ורוח נדיבה תסמכני״  יה״ר שימלא כל משאלות לבבך הטובה במידה טובה ישועה ורחמים!

Onwards , Upwards, and Outwards, Muttel, 

מאן דבעי חיים

Muttel,

A bit of a belated tremendous מזל טוב to you on your 90+ days!

You are a role model to myself and to many others. Your tremendous כוחות that you utilize with such עניוות. That coupled with your caring heart is what makes you so מצליח.

Keep plowing ahead at full speed big brother,


Minhamayim

Tears streamed down his face, shame gnawed at him. 
How could he have betrayed her like that, acting on a whim!
Oh! How he wished he could move the clock back, wipe his slate clean,
Not be left feeling her pain and resentment, at his betrayal so cold and mean.

For years he’d kept up the charade, two-faced in his behavior,
As though his fidelity mere chivalry, his devotion a favor.
Until the day she discovered, found out about his act,
Her nuptials and commitment she’s looking to retract.

He begs and pleads, “please give me another chance!”
I’ll make it up to you, this time with true romance.
You’ll see my regrets are real and commitment firm
I’ve made real changes inside and out, on the road to return.

She smiles wanly and says “I’m willing to give it a try”,
For you to show its real, not just another lie.
I’ll swallow my pain, hide my pride, give you a shot,
Although you are really asking of me a lot.

As the days went by and he stayed true, her heart fluttered with hope,
Maybe he really turned a corner, agreeing didn’t make her look like a dope.
As the weeks turn to months her heart begins to soar, a great life anew,
Where he’s her rock and support the way it should be, staying close to her and true.

The power of return, regret and forgiveness, this story serves to show,
How our Father affords us the ability to change, though our iniquities He knows,
A couple can repair their relationship though fractured and torn asunder,
And He too can come closer when we beckon and His wings stand under…….

May this Tisha B’av with the GYE family serve as a beacon of light,
For all of us to join in the holy fight.
of us returning our commitment to our wives though clueless they may be,
And sharing true love where our devotion they’ll see.

It will propel us towards greater heights in avoda,
Teach us the power of Teshuva,
Then we can truly hope that His house will be quickly built
In our days, speedily, bimheira….

Muttel

Thank you for your story, I can really feel the pain and shame emanating from your words. The best piece of advice that I have for you is to never give up. Use the tools that you have and do your best. Remember that Hashem loves you and doesn't expect you to be perfect. We are put in this world to improve ourselves and do our best. Keep trying and know that I am davening for you.
All the best.
Ezra W

Mazal Tov on reaching 90 days! It's an incredible accomplishment. A word of caution from my personal experience, don't get cocky or lazy regarding these nesyonos. Every time I got too excited by my accomplishments, I would become less carful, and when I next had a tiny urge, all my hard work was for naught and I would go right back to where I was before.  always remember what you did and how it made you feel or you risk slipping back.
Hazlach raba, and keep up the good work!
All the best,
Ezra W

Haughty? No.
Have pride? Yes.

Reb Muttel's positive attitude is helping not only himself, but so many others.

We need to be excited and happy with our accomplishments. Also, don't become lax. They aren't a stira.

Hatzlacha 

Thank you for clarifying, I hope it didn't come out sounding critical in any way, that was not my intent at all, rather it was to share about where I failed in the hopes that others may benefit from that knowledge

ezraw wrote on 14 Aug 2024 00:55:

Shalom Brother,
You are good .

Please excuse my overly curt response earlier. I'm a little going to blame it on having a difficult fast this year - but I should have waited to post later with a clearer mind. My apologies.

I just wanted to stress that the excitement isn't what gets you (it usually is a tremendous source of chizuk to keep fighting), it's the 2nd part you mentioned about becoming less careful.

I have written elsewhere about keeping the battle going to stay sharp. Each time you successfully establish a new level of guarding yourself from sin, set your eyes on the next achievable goal. 
Kol tov.

Thank you Ezra and Ben for your words so clearly laced with love and concern,

I think we’re all on the same page.

ezraw, just so you don’t need to unnecessarily feel bad for me, my DW was unaware of my infidelities… so although I feel terrible at what I’ve done (though not yet up to really focusing on it - I need to wait some time for that), I’m not actually dealing with what I described in my pre Tisha bav poem. It was written metaphorically…. Painful nonetheless for our brothers here that are dealing with it…

I am definitely super excited at my last 99 days and super excited about the next 99 days. However, definitely concurrently aware that yesterday’s success does not guarantee todays. My fall in 2020 after having been P&M free since 2008 taught me that. A painful lesson, but one that’s been absorbed through every fiber of my being….

Heres wishing all of us success in winning these battles, forever,
Muttel

They met in a non-descript Bais Medrash,
Sharing their deepest secrets, struggles, ambitions, successes, 
Forging a closeness like no other, short in time, but limitless in strength.

The time flew by as they worked through thorny and touchy subjects,
Though difficult in the moment, cathartic in the long run....

R' M111, how uplifted I feel from those precious 90 minutes spent in your exalted company!
The brutal honesty, the tangible righteousness, your precious Neshama shining through....

How I look forward to continuing this special relationship......

'Twas a powerful and close hug(s)!!

With a heart brimming with brotherly love,
Muttel 

Welcome to the holy land!

Edit: Welcome Holy one (100 days) to the holy land.