Hello, my name is Shmily.

I am new to GYE and have been here for a few weeks.
It is inspiring to see that I am not alone in facing challenges,
and that we are all in this battle together.

I have been struggling with P*** and M***** for the past 8 years, 

it is currently day 24 of my 90-day journey.
This is the longest period of time I have gone without failing any challenges in the past eight years.

Like most people, when we strongly decide not to fail again,
the next few days or weeks become easier to overcome,
and we may feel like the challenge is over.

However, that's when the real game begins.
We start facing urges we've never experienced before, and it's difficult to resist them.

With 24 clean days behind me.
I thought the challenge was over and that there were no difficulties at all,
but now it feels more intense than before.

Yesterday, I was close to failing again, but thankfully I was able to stop on time.

IYH, I hope to share with you on my 90th day, 66 days from now.

Thank you for taking the time to read this
and  I hope to share more of my story with you one day.

(any chizuk is appreciated)

Shmily

Welcome to GYE,  "it aint easy, but it's worth it!" 
The best Chizuk you can get is from looking at your great progress and celebrating it!
Please stay connected.

I suggest that you take the Flight to Freedom course and read The Battle of the Generation regularly. Here is the link to the ebook: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

Keep on posting and sharing and make friends. We are rooting for you.

My friend, you're doing wonderful work. And hard work. Hard work needs friends alongside to help lighten the load. If you haven't yet, reach out to some good guys. Try HHM michelgelner@gmail.com or chaim Oigen. Having people, real people, to talk to, is a game changer

You can also try Eerie.

yitzchokm wrote on 27 Mar 2024 19:21:

Mega Dittos

Welcome! 
it’s courageous to post, and more courageous to try to change. Change isn’t easy. But here, in this special place, we have learned that it is possible. And it’s a lot easier to fight when you’re no longer alone. 

Hope lives here. 

there a lot of good people here to learn from, and lot of life experience and wisdom. Keep in touch! 

I’m wishing you a lot of Hazlacha! 
Here’s a warm hand, 
Chaim Oigen

and RY R' CO
hashem is showin' us the way!

Thank you everyone for your support.
Your help has brought me to day 27 successfully.


I'm sure I'm not the only person with this question,
but I'm also sure that there are more then ones who have an answer.

I thought that the longer I stayed clean, the easier it would get.
But it seems like the opposite is true.

I am worried that I will fail again. Will it ever get easier?

Shmily

It should get easier at some point after you reach 90 days clean but for now it can get harder sometimes. Keep doing what you are doing, tune into your struggles and as time goes on see if there are any adjustments you can make in order to succeed. Keep on posting and sharing. Keep on trucking.

chaimoigen wrote on 27 Mar 2024 19:32:

Anyone else read that as Mega Doritos

IAmShmily wrote on 31 Mar 2024 15:04:

Shmily, 

Your question is vibrating with pain, and many of us can relate.

I can only share with you what I have personally found to be the case and that is that, yes, although in a sense, having a substantial number of clean days behind you will make things easier, the urges on those dark days can be the same. 

What changes with time is the negative and deeply ingrained mindset that “I will inevitably fall”. 

The mindset that no matter what I do or try, I know deep down that I will fail. That changes with time. If you’ve done it for 30 days, 60 days and then 100 days, you can do it on those dark and difficult days too. 

There are easier times and hard times when urges are very powerful. But by having more clean days behind us, whether as part of a streak or cumulatively, we are rewiring our brains that we don’t have to watch porn and masterbate.

Rooting for you! -YKW