Hi, im getting 19 years soon, and struggling with p&m and ssa on regular basis…. I would like to know if i will 1 day still be proud of myself or i will stay with those struggles my entire life?? Im hopeless! I wish someone can help me or appreciate that i came up with my story.

mendy19 wrote on 14 Feb 2024 21:14:

Welcome!
Today is the day that you should be proud of yourself. 
The fact that you came here and reached out for help shows your true self that really wants to be good and do the right things. You have already started your journey to recovery and with the help of Hashem and the other friends here on GYE you'll do doing much better as the time goes by. 

One this is for sure:
YOU ARE NOT HOPELESS! 
Keep on repeating this to yourself, it's so important to live with the truth. 

mendy19 wrote on 14 Feb 2024 21:14:

We all have struggles in our lives. They don't seem to be going anywhere.
However, we can be proud looking back at our struggles and seeing how we overcame them. 
You have come to the right place, and one day you too will be proud of your victories.

I sent you a private message. You can get to it on the forum homepage.

I appreciate your story. One of the first steps of recovery is getting out of isolation, so kudos to your first post.

Hi Mendy,

I admire you for taking the courage and taking a step in getting your life under control. Your post seems to reveale so much pain and agony. we feel u. Pls know, you're not alone In this struggle, there are many, many guys here with this experience, who live a happy and calm life. Pls feel free to start sharirng you're struggles..

mendy19 wrote on 14 Feb 2024 21:14:

Hey, really feel for you. Of course you can! But the first step is being proud of yourself today! Self doubt and low self image are gifts that keep on giving....Maybe read the battle of the generation.

mendy19 wrote on 14 Feb 2024 21:14:

If possible I suggest that you sign up for the daily chizuk sent out by vayimaen.  There are many people struggling.  With the proper tools that you can learn here you will bezras hashem find that the source of your hopelessness can turn around and be the source of your greatest pride.  

Hey mendy!!
you for sure have hope !! 
we need to put in the hishtadlus and hashem will help !!! 

Hey mendy,

Just wanted to say we are all waiting to hear your story. When/if you feel ready...

Hi Mendy! You have hope, and you can do it! First of all, here is a good hug! It really helps. Please stick around, there's much to learn here. There are many, many people who came from very similar or harder places, and BH they are past that now. Keep posting!

Of course the best thing is to speak with a real rebbe who you respect and feel will be able to help you.  It is not an embarrassing thing to discuss, as it is a nisyon that EVERYONE has even though no one can or should talk about it. 
As far as SSA for the vast majority of bucherim it is more about what is available to them than truly wanting boys over girls, and with age/ marriage it will go away. (Although there is a risk that if you feed it to much when you’re young, you can end up with these issues long term.)
As far as porn and mastication, EVERYONE on this form can attest, marriage will not help you, and the early you start working on it the better. 

gyecsm wrote on 18 Feb 2024 17:16:

Not sure what the stats are... Its an important thing to figure it out with someone who knows him.

How are you doing Mendy? If you have what to post about SSA or P&M that can be helpful for yourself or for others please do so. Wishing you success on your journey.

Hey Mendy, you've got this!

Keep posting,
keep sharing.

Very soon, you will look back on these struggles as if they never happened.

You are on the right track.

Your friend,
Shmily

I think you are really right porn and masturbation are not going away themselves after your getting married, SSA for me it's still hard even I am married for over 2years,
But the more you work on it its getting easier.
keep on going!