eerie wrote on 23 Aug 2024 02:43:

Fully agreed. Rabbeinu Eerie is right that everything told to anybody has to be kept in strict confidence and not repeated at all- even if there is reason to believe that the information is already known to the other fellow
On that note,  I would like to make a public apology for wishing IWLR Mazel tov. I shouldn't have been the one to publicly announce anything if he chose not to do so.
His Simcha 
His Information 
His Privacy.
I am sorry.

Getting on with party... Or maybe going backwards to the Shalom Zachar...

About 5 minutes into my nap Friday afternoon, I was awoken by my wife. Someone just dropped off a bottle of shnapps and left a note on it with no name. No one saw when he dropped it off.

I rolled out of bed to see if I could identify the handwriting.

I didn't recognize the handwriting but I was a bit confused as to the whole commotion - the note was clearly signed! This is what it said.
מזל טוב! הרבה שמחה ונחת עב"ד. יפתח לך ד' את אוצרך הטוב מן השמים.

I guess not everyone knows how to read

iwannalivereal wrote on 23 Aug 2024 14:41:

And that's when all the tzaros began...
My public apology 

but hey! It's quite similar to hanging up signs and running off!

Just in case anyone reading this thought otherwise cuz of all those apologies... Every guy who came had been personally invited, and a whole bunch asked and double asked if I'm for sure comfortable with the oilam coming. No one surprised me with coming without me knowing that they were coming beforehand. Before inviting anyone I thought about for a while and decided that the risk factors were quite low, and that the chizzuk I'd get from the oilam coming was definitely worth the small risks involved.

And so it was! The story of the old man, and the story of the shnapps bottle are totally non existent in my real life anymore... the chizzuk however lives on and on!!!

Mazal tov! Sorry I was not there.

Regarding privacy, basic rules of thumb is never mention anyone's user name to someone else.

Just realized I'm a few days overdue for my 12 month anniversary. Unfortunately for me, 12 hebrew months this year doesn't make a year so it'll be another month till I celebrate my year.

Happens to be I'm having a real rough time over the past week. I'm pretty sure it's due to way too much time sitting at home. Being that it's bein hazmanim, I'm getting stuck with hours and hours of babysitting and I'm pretty much stuck home from when I come home from shacharis till late afternoon. Got in touch with a number of chaveirim and they've been tremendously helpful in both giving me chizzuk, and with practical eitzos of what to do with my time while sitting home.

I haven't had a real tough tekufa in a while. I've noticed something interesting. In past times, when I was having a rough time my perspective had always been of almost a hatred towards myself, and maybe towards Hashem for putting me through this impossible and painful stretch. This time however, the feelings I've been having are of looking forward to being able to use this tekufa to shteig even more. I haven't had that many good opportunities to say no the YH in a number of months, and I'm now looking forward to doing it once again and to grow even stronger.

IWLR

Beautiful!
Palti!
KOMT!

BenHashemBH wrote on 29 Aug 2024 15:00:

I've heard that ליש is accepting another יורש. IWLR, wanna sign up?

B"h doing much better - keeping myself busy and out of trouble.

It's been a few years since I've said yo"k kotton on erev rosh chodesh elul.

Past few years I either felt too guilty to say it, or I didn't want to waste my precious "porn time" with extra davening.

Great feeling!

iwannalivereal wrote on 03 Sep 2024 03:32:

I can totally relate to your point about "wasting precious porn time".. I could not tell you how many days that I stopped davening or cut it short to get back to watching porn.. It is terrible and I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it.

As Bein Hazemanim winds to an end, I look back at a tumultuous period of time. There were lots of slipping and sliding. Not something I'm particularly proud of. At least I was pushed to spend lot of time on the phone with GYE friends.

Usually during Bein Hazemanim I choose something to learn, and I usually make it through a significant amount of what I had planned to cover. This time however, after a few days, I realized that Plan A was just not gonna happen and so I switched to Plan B. Few days later I realized that it didn't look like I'd be able to sit through Plan B, and so I went searching for a Plan C. Plan C turned out decent, I'd say I made it through 80% percent of what I had aimed for. Looking back, I'm fairly upset. I had been planning on learning my Plan A limud since Pesach Bein Hazemanim and now I'm unsure when I'm going to be able to finish that up.

I think there's a nice life lesson for me here. I often make nice big plans to do things, and when they don't work out I kinda fall apart. I think it's crucial for me recognize that life doesn't always work out how I want it to. There's only a certain amount of effort I can put into anything, and I have to give myself credit for the effort I put in, and not kill myself for not coming up with the shpitz results that I had wanted. A הוספת נקודה is that it would be good for me to understand that there are limits, and yes when I'm up half the night with a newborn and then I'm sitting at home in a quiet house in the morning, my learning is not gonna be the same as when I have full energy and I'm sitting in a Bais Medrash. There is absolutely no reason to look back at a Plan C and feel bad about it. It's the effort that counts.

I'm realizing that the same really goes for my slipping and sliding. I don't do these things. I don't aimlessly browse the web for hours on end looking at and reading through stupidity and coming close to "the border". However, looking back at this period of time should not be a time that I look down on myself. Coming out of Bein Hazemanim I'm quite certain, that even with all the effort I've put in, there are still nisyonos and there is still tayva and boredom and loneliness. Obviously, going forward I have to work on knocking out as much of the triggers and nisyonos as possible. Looking back though, there's nothing to feel bad about. It's the effort that counts.

minhamayim wrote on 22 Aug 2024 00:00:

W

iwannalivereal wrote on 23 Aug 2024 15:05:

Waiting (im)patiently for an epic post. The "Mazel Tov's" are bursting at the seams, ready to explode. We're trying to control ourselves, but it's hard to, when a such a dear friend is celebrating such an important milestone. Make it official already, and let the celebration begin!

hopefulswan89 wrote on 08 Sep 2024 07:19:

My dear friend, I saw the original post. With all due respect, you hadn't yet joined GYE when this happened. That would explain why you weren't invited.
Once again, why don't you tell us about yourself and your journey? 
You seem to have had success on your own, which is very impressive. Can you share?