cordnoy wrote on 17 Jan 2024 01:22:

It seems our friend Yitzchok has taken your words very literally. I would question the need to write "You are a sick fellow", which I think is very harsh. The point you're making, that he's thinking wrong, can be made simply by saying "It is wrong to call them...or think of them as...

It is Cordnoy's way of speaking when he wants to say that a person is going in the wrong direction. He is very jovial, for those who know him well. I wasn't overwhelmed by his words; I was just trying to respond like a well-behaved boy. But I am still waiting for him to accept my teshuva.

yitzchokm wrote on 17 Jan 2024 19:13:

you can find the pirate, in the southern seas, and confess to him.
i thought GYE is not a cult or chassidus?
#guilt trip

cande wrote on 17 Jan 2024 19:35:

"cult or chassidus" !?!?    You're a sick fellow; go learn some Tanya.

I don't think Cords is God, although he puts it in his signature, but I let him enjoy the driver's seat. I sometimes might disagree with him and I sometimes feel like we may be living in two different worlds but I respect other people's perspective and tend to retract some of my original statement to make place for both. Usually, as was the case here, I really made a mistake.

yitzchokm wrote on 17 Jan 2024 19:59:

lets not obsess over it, and get addicted

yitzchokm wrote on 17 Jan 2024 19:59:

Is your retraction about you or is it about Cordnoy? Please clarify

eerie wrote on 17 Jan 2024 21:35:

let's not get carried away and distracted to forget what is our goal over here...
why are we on GYE? 
(and why are we in this world )

eerie wrote on 17 Jan 2024 21:35:

I am not sure what you are trying to ask. When I make a mistake I try to retract but when Cordnoy is the one pointing it out I treat him with more respect. When someone else disagrees with me and I don't think I made a mistake, I sometimes might ignore his criticism, but when Cordnoy disagrees with me, he is representing a group that shares values that are slightly different than my own and I respect that, notwithstanding the fact that I believe otherwise. This is why I took a slightly different approach than you the last time we both disagreed with Cordnoy. I agree that it might simply be the way I tend to relate to other people.

I only saw davidt's post after I posted mine. I agree that we should close this discussion and get back to work.

My point is, are you retracting because you truly believe that you erred, or because Cordnoy said something. My words are about you, not at all disrespecting anyone. But yes, please keep trucking, onward with our journey!

"Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations." 
Melchor Lim

I feel like I am being mocked for having strong filters on my technological devices and refusing to go onto unfiltered devices. I found an excerpt from an address by Rabbi J.B. Soloveitchik in the halachic context of the chazaka of chazal that a woman would prefer being married than living alone. I feel like it speaks to me regarding my situation. I am taking it out of the original context because it holds true in many circumstances, including my own.

“Secondly, we must not yield, we must not yield, I mean emotionally, it’s very important. We must not yield, I mean develop and experience an inferiority complex, and because of that complex, yield to the charm, usually it’s a transient passing charm, of modern political or ideological slogans. I say not only not to compromise, certainly not to compromise, but even not to yield emotionally, not to feel inferior, not to feel an inferiority complex. And it should never occur to me that it’s important if we would cooperate, just a little bit with the modern trend or with the secular modern philosophy”.

Rabbi J.B. Soloveitchik

Torah, Chazal and Science, page 715

I hope this will keep me steadfast in my beliefs.

The reason for my previous post is because I had a slip. I went onto an unfiltered device that belongs to a family member, searching for a resort place. I knew that I will inevitably end up seeing things that I shouldn't but I rationalized that if I only go into the browser without going into websites nothing will go wrong. Sure enough an immodest drawing showed up next to one of the websites. I took a second look and then immediately closed the browser. Just before that I looked up a country on Wikipedia on that computer and there were immodest thumbnail pictures. I am so used to only going onto a computer that has a good filter that I naively rationalized that there is a way to be safe on an unfiltered device, ignoring my intuition which was telling me that this reasoning was false.

Afterwards, I thought about what I did and I realized that the reason I took the risk in the first place was because I felt like I would be called a fanatic and a hermit if I would have made it a rule that I never use that computer for the internet. I realized that what I really wanted to do, which is never to use unfiltered devices for the internet, is stemming from Daas torah of the rabbanim whom I follow regarding technology. I also realized that it is a weakness on the part of my family members that they attack me for righteous behavior. I countered their behavior with writing the words I quoted in the previous post in my personal journal. I then posted it on this thread.

I posted on someone else's thread that the Shulchan Aruch writes to be brazen like a leopard in the face of mockery and ignore them. The Mishna Brura adds that we shouldn't argue with them but we should ignore them and do the right thing. I realized that I needed to use my own advice for myself.

Anyway, I hope to succeed in sticking to my commitment not to use unfiltered devices for the internet. I also don't want to go onto their smartphones for family WhatsApp anymore. I only did these things occasionally in the past but now I am ready to stay away from them for good.

Hey what's doing? We miss you!

I left the GYE forum because it was too time consuming but I want to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of the GYE members who posted as you all have shaped who I am today. I feel like a healthy person and I believe that I healed. It is all because of your posts and more importantly your criticism. I have used everything you taught me to navigate life's challenges effectively. I sorely miss you all but as per the advice of my psychologist I left the forum. Hashem should bless each one of you with sobriety and material and spiritual success.

I haven't completely left Guardyoureyes as I am active on Hitdanoigen nowadays. It is less time consuming and I am enjoying the chassidishe flavor of HDO which is helping me grow spiritually.

A special thank you to Cordnoy who reached out to me privately after I had to leave the forum temporarily due to an addiction to the forum and it is in your merit that I revised my plan and reached sobriety. In addition, your criticism was essential in purifying my mind from faulty beliefs and improper behaviors. A special thank you to Hashem Help Me who reshaped my approach to married life and it is because of you that I feel like I can have a healthy married life. Your guidance and chizzuk were essential in making me grow. A special thank you to Chaim for resolving a number of technical issues I had with the forum that required your intervention. Last but not least a special thank you to Rabbi Dr. Abraham Yehoshua Twerski Zatzal for your investment in GYE which made recovery possible for me.

GYE is dear to me and it takes up an irreplaceable corner of my heart. Hashem should bless GYE with everything that it can use to fulfill its mission broadly and effectively. All the best.