Are you sharing the stress with anyone? Doing so lowers the stress level and the urge to act out. Exercise helps quite a bit as well. It is an important health strategy to keep stress levels down. We have to retrain ourselves to not head towards our default system of using sexual release as our outlet, by replacing it with healthy and kosher releases.

Chazak Viamatz!’
Sorry to hear about the stressful situation. Here’s an arm around the shoulders. You can do it!!

Look! You have come a very long way on the road clean. What an incredible accomplishment !
I think it’s ok to tell yourself that there is no concept of a cumulative buildup. The Yetzer Hora tries to make us believe that the buildup of pressure and difficulty in holding back accumulates.

So he tells us: “Hey, it’s harder to withstand after 40 days, after 50 it’s even harder, and my gosh after 75 days clean how are you possibly still holding on by your fingernails!”

In most cases it’s a false fantasy. Each day is its own battle. Each day has its fresh challenge, and the ability to be victorious, with Siyata Dishmaya. The accumulated days behind you do nothing but prove that you can win repeatedly, with Hashem’s help. So there’s nothing to stop you from victory today. And then repeat.


I find it also helps to be focused on the positive benefits you enjoy while being clean. Not only how much you want to not fall. Offense, not defense!!


Keep going. Keep climbing! You are greater , and more capable than you think!!

Warmly,
Chaim

Hey, sounds like you are doing great! If I may offer, you wrote you would like to 'watch away the stress', in which you are correct that watching can release some of the stress. But remember that other things can, too! How about calling a friend and shmoozing? How about speed walking? How about watching a Jewish inspirational video (like those made by project inspire)? 
My friend, we are waiting to hear your updates

I have not posted in a really long time so I feel like I should give an update. BH I am doing great! Found myself slipping at one time, so I took an extended Taphsik and I have been great ever since. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions of how to wean myself off making these shvuos. They really help me, but I wish I could do it without them. Any ideas?

Have you tried speaking to any of the wonderful people here on GYE? For me, speaking to people was the first real step towards a wholesome life without these behaviors. 
(Try HHM, Eerie, Chaimoigen, IWLR to start...)

You mentioned boredom and stress as your triggers. Have you found appropriate responses for them in the toolbox or are you merely suppressing your stress and boredom by using the Taphsic method? Are you reading The Battle of the Generation regularly? The book should give you the incentive to want to win this battle, possibly without needing to resort to the Taphsic method.

I had a major fall the other day. I was bored and stressed, and I saw it coming, but I didn't want to take a taphsic because I felt it was important to practice fighting the urge rather than just pushing it away with a taphsic. 
I'm not sure what to think. BH I made it to over 100 days, and I accomplished so much in that time. Also, I was able to pick myself up after the fall and keep on fighting. I am trying to improve my filter (but you cant filter an addiction...) and more importantly working on myself to make sure that this does not happen again.
But at the end of the day, this was a fall after a long period in the clear and it's upsetting. The yetzer hora tells me all sorts of things- I'm a bad person, I will never fix this, just give up. Trying to stay positive, hoping you guys have some advice or words of encouragement.

Oy! Gevald. That hurts. I feel for you, my friend.

Don't listen to the YH, he's your friend just like Biden is Israel's friend.

You're not a bad person. This fall doesn't define you and it by no means deletes all the work and clean days that you worked so hard on.

You're human and you were stressed and he got the better of you this time but how many times didn't he get you? It's okay. move on and continue plowing!

It's amazing that you can pick yourself up right away - it is so important after a fall to continue fighting and not letting the guard down.

My friend, be sure that the coming days, weeks, and maybe months will be a bit tougher than it was before the fall (I'm currently experiencing that) But please, my dear brother, don't give in, fight it tooth and nail. Walk around looking like a grouch, I don't care. There is only one thing that matters - no falling back into the YH's trap.

Identifying what led to that fall and trying the best to fix those issues is super important as well.

Rooting to you,
Wish you loads of hatzlacha,
Keep plowing!
and remember don't look back, because you're not going that way!
With Love,
Heeling,

Heeling wrote on 27 Mar 2024 13:55:

Great post, my friend.
Personally, I like trucking more than plowing.
With love,
Eerie

eerie wrote on 27 Mar 2024 18:44:

After doing some research, I think I'll change it to 'plow on'.

With love,
Heeling,

eerie wrote on 27 Mar 2024 18:44:

Not much plowing this year...

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 27 Mar 2024 13:34:

A courageous fellow looked up at the summit and planned out his climb up the mountain. As each day progressed he accustomed himself to the challenges of the unpredictable terrain. After 100 days of climbing he lost his balance and slipped into a ditch. As he sat on the ditch's edge bandaging his wounds, he had an opportunity to enjoy the views and fresh air from this high altitude. "I guess i could give up and head down, but that would be foolish." So after resting a bit, he studied the area to determine what caused his slip and developed a plan for the next time such a challenge arose, and headed on to day 101 of his climb.

Buddy, you are a hero. Determine what the triggers were, make a plan, and keep going. Hatzlocha!

What do you have in place of the Taphsic method? Are you doing the Flight to Freedom program? Are you reading The Battle of the Generation? Do you have a list of cues and appropriate responses from the toolbox? Are you reaching out to people? Did you download audio recordings?

This is a really hard post for me to write. But I think I need to write it to be honest, and for myself. I noticed myself getting into a tough spot in my journey, where BH I was successful, but I was not progressing. What was happening was I would make a neder not to watch inappropriate content, and for the duration of the neder I was successful. When the period of the neder was over, I noticed my tayvos stirring, and I took another neder. And this is how the cycle went. BH successful, but I was not getting anywhere. 
So I did something which at the time I thought was correct, but looking back I could have planned better. I want to work on myself not to rely on the crutch of nedarim. I myself want to be a better person, who doesn't need to watch this garbage. So I stopped making nedarim and tried to fight the monster head on. And I failed miserably...
I should have reached out to you on the forum, I should have devised a plan in advance, but I was foolish...
And I noticed now when I fall, the content gets worse and worse...
I am down in the dumps, but urging myself don't give up. BH if you follow this thread I have had amazing hatzlacha over the past many months. I just sometimes question if it is ever possible to be fully clean. I won't give up (which is why I returned here) and I am back for words of encouragement. 
The hope I hold on to is even if I die as an addict, after 120 I can say I tried... 
So learning from my mistakes, here is the plan: I hope to post every Sunday (even just a short thing- that I'm still in- no need to reply, but I love the encouragement each of you give!), and I'm gonna make a plan (better sources of entertainment, using tools from the flight-plan, fix holes in the filter etc.). I will still use the nedarim trick but only when absolutely necessary. Lets see how it goes, and I can tweak it as time goes on. 
I hope their is still hope for me...please please words of chizzuk!!!

remaininganonymous26 wrote on 05 May 2024 23:22:

There is always hope.  For someone that keeps getting back up to fight there is also tremendous admiration.