true_self wrote on 20 Nov 2023 21:36:

Well said!!!
Ha'dvarim me'atim b'kamusum v'rabim b'eichusim.
Are you able to share more about these tools? I'm getting FOMO

Day 53 - bH still clean. need to get things moving in general but don't have much motivation. My mother used to tell me "if you don't have energy, do it without.

Mazal Tov of hitting a YOVEL milestone. That's huge. Breaking free is hard work.
I think that you can feel the difference between some of the earlier attempts and whats going on now.
Keep it going!! You are special!!

Regarding working on motivation -
Vehkam and others have emphasized reading the book. It's surprising what a difference it can make.
Here are a few other things that can make a huge difference.

1. Offense, not defense. Think about what you enjoy about being clean. Focus on the positives that you enjoy about being who you are today! Muster up feelings of desire to make those aspects even better. Defense doesn't work so well in face of lust and depression. Wanting to feel good in a different way will help motivate you to avoid "going looking"....

2. Think and feel deeply about what you really want. Think about what the lusting "does for you".
Why do you want it sometimes?  What makes you go looking for a fall? Is it just Taaveh and desire?
For many people, it's more than the Taavah and lust. Are you looking some times to numb anxiety? or depression? Do you crave release and oblivion when you feel a certain kind of emotional pain? Loneliness and worry? Similar emotions.
When you realize these things it becomes easier to recognize triggers.
And it becomes easier to recognize the YOU don't really want the porn and masturbation. You only want the solution to emotional pain, etc. Then you can more easily feel motivation  to want to replace this "numbing solution" with a healthier one that will actually make you feel better. These are some things that have worked for some...

Hazlacha! You are terrific!!

Love,
Chaim Oigen

Thank you R' Chaim!

 Special thanks for #2 - I've got some work to do....

true_self wrote on 21 Nov 2023 21:58:

Let's refrain from using the word "still". It implies an expected fall. 

Mazel Tov on your massive accomplishment. May Hashem give you the ability to continue - and while you are doing that to help others as well. 

Just adding on to what r' chaim oigen about reading the book and how it helps with motivation. You can speak to r' chaim yourself and he'll tell you how my motivation about 2 and a half months ago was like a deflated tire. I was just in that mood of I'm never getting out of it so may as well change mindset. Everything's muttar. I was going all out, and had almost zero ratzon to stop. Since shmoozing with him and others and reading the book I've totally repumped my tire. (Almost popped it with too much air actually...)

iwannalivereal wrote on 22 Nov 2023 20:46:

True, thanks.
Spoke to Reb chaim just before, he warms my heart!
Just curious what you mean with this "(Almost popped it with too much air actually...)"

Hashem Help Me wrote on 22 Nov 2023 17:02:

Agree, I did indeed feel a bit like that when I wrote that post last night.

Day 54 - Trying to get thing moving, to fill up my mornings and be more productive. Automatically things will become easier once my mind will be more occupied with positive things.

All the best to all of you!

great strategy. i used to make a to do list every morning (with more items then i could possibly cover) and prioritize it in number order. that usually kept me busy the entire day....

Vehkam wrote on 22 Nov 2023 23:34:

Making the list and numbering it according to priority, or actually doing the things on the list?

Dear HHM, if there are threads to be read when Moshiach comes, I think this one is on the list. Here we have a person, whom we see putting all his strength into breaking free, facing obstacles, meeting challenges, and step by step learning the ropes, never giving up, falling and standing up, 'yiush' doesn't exist in his vocabulary in spite of all the difficulties, and we see the great person we knew was in there, emerging from the darkness that was, shining, growing, making huge decisions that will impact his life for a long time.
My friend True-self, if you have not yet figured it out, you are an inspiration!

Day 59 - Don't have time to write.

All the best!

Wow! That's really amazing!

Your an inspiration.