Mazal Tov on this amazing accomplishment. And thank you for the chizzuk and the practical tips - I relate to a lot of what you wrote in this post, and it’s a real source of encouragement. 

ImyH many, many more milestones and further growth! 

Eray, amazing!!! You are an inspiration! Please keep sharing, and it would be nice if you stopped by a little more often!

Yesterday was 200 days! What an amazing way to go into RH. It blows me away that after struggling with this for almost 40 years I now go days and even weeks without any significant urges. Other than some period of time shortly after I got married this is definitely the longest streak. For those of us here in the fight PLEASE don't give up,  I promise you it's worth it on so many levels. A כתיבה וחתימה טובה!

Wow!! Good for you

Eray, from day one you've been a real positive force! I only wish you'd stop by more often:) My friend, just kidding, do what works best for you. And share your inspiration whenever you can:)

eerie wrote on 18 Sep 2023 20:37:

Thanks!!!

Mazel Tov! Keep it up and keep inspiring!

Today was day 280! 

I was reading another post where someone had a long streak and had a fall and among the wonderful words of chizzuk someone made a great point that posting updates may help prevent a fall.  Although the significant majority of days are very smooth there have been several random days over the last few weeks where some of the old urges have popped up at random moments.  The combination of the removal of easy access and the thought of having to come here and write about a fall were enough to head off acting on those urges.  These urges serve as a strong reminder that although the battles are less intense the war is far from over.

Your post warmed my heart

eerie wrote on 04 Dec 2023 05:41:

Heart burn?

Now at an absolutely incredible 335 days. A concept that was inconceivable about a year ago! 

I recently had a family simcha for a new grandson that we were able to share with 4 generations of family. One additional insight I had was that there was something different about these simchas. I realized that as this process continues and the successes continue to pile up, another amazing positive side-effect is the enhancement of the ability to truly enjoy and appreciate these simchas. Everything is sweeter without the background of almost unbearable pain and hopelessness that I used to carry around.

I hope that my story of being able to overcome 40+ years with very little success during that period can provide chizzuk to others. I beg of you don't get overwhelmed by the fight or discouraged by falls. Every successful battle is a victory! Wishing everyone on this forum hatlzacha rabba!

eraygrand wrote on 28 Jan 2024 20:11:

Gigantic MAZEL TOV!!!!

And NO, Im not just talking about the awesomeness of sharing a family simcha with Generations.

A couple of days ago I made it to the incredible milestone of one year. I have been trying to figure out how to put into words what this means to me. 

I am finding it difficult to type and see the screen through the tears that come to my eyes thinking about how amazing this is. There truly are no words that can capture the lifting of the incredible and depressing weight of over 40 years of having virtually giving up on the possibility of being able to get clean. Since I was a teenager I'm not sure I had even one month of being clean other than the first 1-2 years of being married. I still remember clearly being in Times Square within about a year of being married and feeling the pull and overwhelming urge to see P. Like many others I had thought that marriage would solve the problem. The sense of hopelessness, shock and disgust that I felt was crushing. I had always thought that I was one of a very few people that had this struggle and could not even imagine being able to share with anyone what I was going through. Finding GYE and these forums and being able to put my thoughts and struggles in writing and realizing that I was not alone was that little speck of light that I needed to be able to truly find a path forward. 

The one thing that I'm finding the most difficult is not being able to share with everyone that I know (especially my wife) and scream from the top of my lungs about how amazing this is. The consolation is that I can share this with a group that can truly appreciate what this means.  

My shout out to everyone on this site is please DON'T GIVE UP!! If you fall, get up and keep going. A fall is not starting over! Every victory even for a half a day or an hour that you pushed off on acting on an urge is a building block and a piece of armor that can be used in the next battle. There will be days that it seems like the fight is insurmountable and why bother. Use every tool available on this site and with personal; relationships to keep on battling. Do not allow the YH to use his most powerful tool of yiush in this war. I guarantee you the benefits (in this world) of fighting this and seeing success are significantly greater than you may imagine. 

Mazel Tov and thank you for your inspiring words! May Hashem help you continue and as you move further away from this mess, please shlep some dear yidden along with you.

eraygrand wrote on 29 Feb 2024 18:51:

Amazing stuff. I am sure you are inspiring the people around you whether or not they know of your past struggles.