I just joined GYE after listening to Halacha Headlines and getting a better sense that I'm not alone. I'm in my 50s with kids and  grandchildren.  Like many others I've had my ups and downs but other than this major issue of porn and masturbation definitely more ups. This has been going on since I was 15, started with magazines,  then to theaters and VCR.  As a bachur in Israel I would even take a bus once a month to Tel Aviv because there was a theater right near the bus stop! However nothing compares to the ease of access on the internet and the daily urges.  The lack of ability to control myself has brought shame and lack of self confidence.  The amount of tears that I have shed every Yom kippur... I feel the words of the brocha of mechayei hameisim in shmonei esrei, especially matir asurim, are all about me! I  have been clean for 9 days now. 

Welcome to the family! Here we are all brothers looking after each other, we want to hear from you, and we are here for you. from 9 days soon 9 years then 90years! Stick around my friend, there are a lot of good things to learn here, so keep posting and keep trucking!

It is such a chizuk to internalize that there really are many 'normal' people who struggle with these issues. It's especially powerful to speak with others directly, through email, but especially on the phone or in person. Hatzlacha Rabba with your battle. I'm at the beginning of mine myself. 

eraygrand wrote on 26 Feb 2023 07:05:


Welcome and its never ever to late to change! No matter what you have done.
Feel free to share and learn, many good guys who can offer real help.
It might be that you even have some children or  grandchildren on GYE.
Welcome to the family

I just joined GYE after listening to Halacha Headlines and getting a better sense that I'm not alone. I'm in my 50s with kids and  grandchildren.  Like many others I've had my ups and downs but other than this major issue of porn and masturbation definitely more ups. This has been going on since I was 15, started with magazines,  then to theaters and VCR.  As a bachur in Israel I would even take a bus once a month to Tel Aviv because there was a theater right near the bus stop! However nothing compares to the ease of access on the internet and the daily urges.  The lack of ability to control myself has brought shame and lack of self confidence.  The amount of tears that I have shed every Yom kippur... I feel the words of the brocha of mechayei hameisim in shmonei esrei, especially matir asurim, are all about me! I  have been clean for 9 days now. 
Welcome! Much Hatzlacha! These Headlines shows have been a push to many to join GYE, myself included. Much Hatzlacha!

eraygrand wrote on 26 Feb 2023 07:05:

Feel free to reach out.  I am in my 50s as well.  If you read my thread I am sure you will see some similarities .  

Hello and welcome to GYE. You have come to the right place.
althought I’m still in my 30s I think we would both agree on one thing. Thank God there was no internet when we were growing up.
at least I only started looking at P when I was a teenager and not younger. Lucky you that you didn’t have this until you were much older. 
I understand that you still struggle and there are other outlets, but as you can see that the ease of access it’s just impossible not to fall. 
That’s why I gave up my smartphone and I filtered all my other devices to the tenth level, whitelists and everything. 
the battle get much easier when you know that you don’t have anything in your house and nearby that will trigger you. 
for me that made a world of difference.
Anyway, stick around you can learn tons from all the wonderful members and the tools that GYE provides. 

myself included as well, what a zchus R' Dovid Lichtenstein has

Thank you all for the kind words and chizuk. Unfortunately I was home alone yesterday and found an old smartphone that was not filtered and lost the struggle to fight the urge. The good news is that today after reading these messages I found the strength to get rid of that phone something that works have been extremely difficult in the past. Looking forward to starting a new streak and continuing down the road to a new life!

Still getting used to the best way to navigate the site. Would love to find that "break glass in case of emergency" button when something like yesterday happens. Would love to hear from others what worked best for them.

Hi. He great question!  By far what works best for me is preparation in advance.  Many here have reported success with an accountability partner that you can call in such situations.  

eraygrand wrote on 28 Feb 2023 00:18:

Get connected with somebody safe, and you can call him to talk about what's going on. The best guy by far is HHM. Or maybe you have somebody you know that can be your accountability partner

Finished day 2. Today was relatively easy, I am still riding the high of being able to get rid of the device that caused the fall without a second thought.  Definitely need a mentor. Also would love to find a Rov in the area that I can open up to. Not quite brave enough to open up to either of the local rabannim that I have a relationship with.

keep it going

eraygrand wrote on 28 Feb 2023 00:18:

Besides the forums you have guardyoureyes.com/articles/featured/category/features
Have you read the handbook ?