bradley smith wrote on 19 Feb 2023 05:12:

I wasn’t laughing at your wife cv I understand her ( I wouldn’t want my kids on this site either) . I also grew up extremely sheltered… and guess what I thank H for that BIG TIME! I don’t know how I would’ve of survived if I would’ve been exposed to these shmutz as a child ( it’s bad enough for an adult). 
But let me tell my experience. I bh have extremely open relationship with my wife and it really helped me a lot in this struggle ( especially now that I’m starting sa… like you can’t hide your life from someone your living with) so maybe get on the phone with someone smart ( you can try Hhm. Or ask the moderators for a good person to ask) for advice how you can tell her about your struggles and how you’re on this site working on getting helped etc. hatzlachah rabbah!

Guys, my first victory! After bH a clean shabbos, i decided that bradley smith should cease to exist (with apologies to that british motorcycle racer ayin wikipedia) and my new name is Yeshayahu 41:6
Its refering to a posuk in something called Navi.
whoever is unfamiliar with that, just ask your wives im sure they know

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 23:16:

Amazing new name! 
I hope you don't mind me sharing the secret "Each one shall aid his fellow, and to his brother he shall say, "Strengthen yourself."" 
THANK YOU!

can someone help a technologically challenged yid? how do i make a signature for posts?

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 23:16:

I wrote a haiku in honor of this fleeting moment in time:

Hi Yeshayahu. 
A new start. A fresh life now.
The old book is closed. 

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 20 Feb 2023 03:27:

Click your name and then click on edit profile and there you can make a signature.

can someone explain what "karma" is all about? do we have buddhists here too?

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 23:16:

Mazel Tov on your shinu hashem! May you only know of success in your new identity!
I liked your old name though.. quite refreshing. Maybe I'll take it for myself once I manage:) Or maybe I'll look for a more successful racer while I'm at it

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 20 Feb 2023 12:48:

"Karma" is a kind of rewards and punishments system. 
Basically, users (in a self-regulating discussion forum) can "vote" to reward or to punish contributors. Theoretically, users should be able to give recognition for the work of others based on merit as a way of encouraging their participation. In practice, however, it is more likely that users deduct points capriciously, without any regard for merit, simply because they disagree with what someone has written. This negative behavior is intended to stifle dissenting (or controversial) opinion. It also tends to create factional blocs/cliques within the forum. At the very least, it's unrewarding, dissatisfying and discouraging for the people being targeted in this way.

DavidT wrote on 20 Feb 2023 14:56:

@DavidT, Lechaim You made it to 100 Karma 

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 19 Feb 2023 23:16:

I heard Bochurim don't learn Nach because there's a Sefer called Job...

Yeshayahu 41:6 wrote on 20 Feb 2023 12:48:

If I may, My dear friend, I'm not sure why the system of karma exists, and we shouldn't be putting too much thought into what other people think about us, or whether they agree with us. If anybody wants to disagree with something you say they can post so respectfully on the forum. And if they agree they can hit the thank you button. My two cents.

excellence wrote on 20 Feb 2023 15:18:

that and a token... :-)

iwillmanage wrote on 20 Feb 2023 14:07:

Had no idea he was a racer. Was just the first random name that came to mind

I was just with a relative of mine who is very good looking. Many times I would fantasize about him and get aroused often to the point of "M". I dont see him often and whenever I do it is a challenge for me. 
THIS time was different. Why you ask? (you DID ask, right?)
Because I felt like this wasnt just me anymore. I'm part of a club that makes it their business to fight this YH.
It became OUR fight. When people are part of a club they staunchly adhere to the rules. Theres a momentum to do the "in" thing of the club. Usually its not good to just "do what everyone does because thats what everyone does". But here as I was talking to him I really remember thinking "I am now part of a holy group that does their utmost to say NO to their base desires". So, while in days past I wouldve spent the whole schmooze with him looking at his face and getting pleasure, this time I looked away as much as was politely possible. It was hard. MAN was it hard!! This is what i had always done!! My whole life before marriage i would never look at girls (which at some point worried me, was i attracted to them?) but I would look at boys plenty and that gave me pleasure (and subjects for fantasy in dreams that would end with a wet morning). I never said to myself "this is wrong". I just did it and hated myself for being "off". But I always knew it was wrong deep down and im sure that added to the self loathing in a big way. It also seemed impossible to stop because hey, I wasnt DOING anything. I never touched a boy in a sexual way EVER so how bad could it be to just enjoy looking at their faces...because it was such a vague issur (assur to be mistakel at anashim? i didnt think so) I didnt think i had to stop. all that changed last week when i joined GYE. Its not always about assur. and its definately not about yelling at yourself "ASSUR!!". Its about who am i? who is my "club"? whats the "in" thing of my club? For me, it was to say NO, Im better than that. I belong to a group thats fighting so im not going to give in to something that is going to excite me even if TECHNICALLY its not assur.
I felt all of you (whoever you all actually are) behind me saying "hey ploni (my parents named me ploni what can i do?), this is not us. Do it for the team!" And I did! First time IN MY LIFE was makpid not to benefit from looking at a handsome boy
Thank you all
Thank you Hashem