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TOPIC: At a low point right now... 10146 Views

Re: At a low point right now... 21 Jan 2025 10:15 #429692

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yud909 wrote on 19 Jan 2025 22:52:

What is wrong with me? I'm 40 years old, happily married with kids, good job, daily chavrusas and enjoy when I learn. But I just get "possessed" (for lack of better word) every few weeks or months and feel the need to act out. It's crazy! 

The fact that you have an urge is completely normal. The way you deal with this feeling is what needs to change. You have ingrained in your brain that this particular feeling = a NEED to act out. This is a myth. Tell yourself that the new "me" does not respond to these feelings by acting out, rather I find a distraction that works for me, I let the urge pass and move on. However I don't respond by acting out. Period.
Every time you let the urge pass, you are rewiring your brain that the body does not respond to this feeling by acting out, and with time the same urges will no longer feel as strong to act out.

In addition to the above we must avoid triggers. If any location or device is a trigger then it's imperative that you have the correct boundaries in place to distance that trigger as much as possible.

Keep on posting....

Re: At a low point right now... 21 Jan 2025 12:54 #429694

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yud909 wrote on 19 Jan 2025 22:52:
Been a while... 
I had some good streaks but since Yom Kippur, I have fallen 5 times. 
Trying to get back on track, hope checking in here helps. 

What is wrong with me? I'm 40 years old, happily married with kids, good job, daily chavrusas and enjoy when I learn. But I just get "possessed" (for lack of better word) every few weeks or months and feel the need to act out. It's crazy! 

I feel your pain brother.
Have you seen this recent Vayimaen video? It might be a chizzuk for you, especially 2.30min into the video, (the words of the בעל התניא).

torahanytime.com/lectures/342808

Stay strong,
UpAndDown
My favourite resources:
1. "זאת בריתי". hebrewbooks.org/56572 (PM me for a sharper version)
2. "שערי גדולה". hebrewbooks.org/48344
3.  guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

My journey: Emunah struggles, Celebrating a fall, I'm fed up(main thread), I'm drowning, Tips for Shmiras Einayim.
Last Edit: 21 Jan 2025 12:56 by upanddown.

Re: At a low point right now... 21 Jan 2025 22:29 #429757

Hey Tzadik!
were glad you're checking in!

Nothing is wrong with you, all you are is human! hashem created human beings with urges and as the "Tanya" says it might be the fight for your entire life, (i know its not easy to accept this, however the more you accept it, the more you will understand yourself) all hashem wants form you is to fight, fight fight, our new 47th president had a million reasons to back out of the race, but he didn't, because he knew he fighting for something great, keep in mind you're fighting for something great!

Look forward, I also have a wife and kids and still struggle, I guess that's part of (or my entire) mission in life.
lets continue to fight and fight for something much greater than the false joy!!!

STAY STONRG! Look forward. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
My filter is strong, however my יצר הרע is stronger!
As long as I live will hopefully continue to fight.
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