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This Is scary
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TOPIC: This Is scary 1173 Views

This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 13:25 #383087

This is a big step.  Admitting I need the help of this community.

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 13:35 #383089

  • lchaim tovim
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Welcome aboard. We're all here because we need each others help. This may be a big step for you but it's a huge step in the right direction and one that takes alot of courage and strength to make.

If you feel comfortable, you can share more about the help that you need and B'ezras hashem you will find it.

These forums are a literal treasure trove of information, chizuk and practical advice.

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 13:35 #383090

Baruchhashem989 wrote on 08 Jul 2022 13:25:
This is a big step.  Admitting I need the help of this community.

Indeed, it is a gigantic step! Welcome!

Don't be scared, though; we don't bite! (Well, most of us anyhow)
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 13:37 #383091

There is so much here in kind of overwhelmed where to start!

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 13:43 #383092

  • lchaim tovim
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Have you read the GYE Handbook https://guardyoureyes.com/allarticles/category/handbook

Start by browsing the forums. Check out the Introduce Yourself" Category, "on the way to 90 days" and "Break free" as well.

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 17:20 #383097

  • Avrohom
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Welcome BH9! Clearly, this was a very difficult step, that you felt is necessary at this point. We're here to help, encourage, support, validate, show you that you're not alone in this battle and share what has and hasn't worked for us personally.

There's no one way to get through this battle - and most people use a number of different tools offered here at GYE to progress. Also, it's not a sprint it's a marathon; there's no rush. Like Lchaim Tovim suggested, take a look at people's threads and you'll get an idea of how it works and some of the available tools. Some things you might be interested in: 1)The F2F self-help program, 2)starting a thread on this forum to pose questions, seek support and advice, and share your progress over time, 3)At some point you may want to find a partner or mentor to touch base with.
Hatzlocha on your new journey!
אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי
אלמלא הקב"ה עוזרו לא יכול לו
זרע אברהם אוהבי

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 18:01 #383098

When is Guard Your Eyes good enough and when do you need to speak with a therapist?

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 18:26 #383099

  • no mask
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WELCOME !! 
I sent you a PM

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 18:43 #383101

  • kavey
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Welcome!

Re: This Is scary 08 Jul 2022 21:03 #383105

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Welcome! Please check out these great free resources:ebook- The Battle of the GenerationAudio series- The FightThey're very good to start with.See below in my signature for the links.​Hatzlocha!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something small, check out an easier way to do self-talk here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: This Is scary 10 Jul 2022 17:17 #383130

Does it ever get easier?  Will the urges ever stop?

Re: This Is scary 10 Jul 2022 18:16 #383133

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Baruchhashem989 wrote on 10 Jul 2022 17:17:
Does it ever get easier?  Will the urges ever stop?

First of all welcome to gye! Secondly, all i can say is that from personal experience it definitely gets easier over time. There are always going to be times that are harder than others, but overall it for sure gets easier. Im speaking from being hooked on pornography and masturbating for 15 years and now I’m almost 100 days clean! It definitely got easier for me! Was it always easy, no it wasn’t always easy, but it became a battle that I’m able to win. As for the urges stopping, again all i can say is that g-d made the world in a way that men are attracted to women. It’s how He made sure that the world is going to stay populated, so as far as being attracted to women, no that will never stop. However, you will be able to control the urges and you will be able to seek out different activities to do when you have them. Look around on the forum. Many people will tell you to learn, exercise, listen to music, or find some other type of activity that you enjoy when these urges come. I wish you much hatzlacha in your journey and hope to hear great things from you! Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
-face the challenge
If you are in the same situation as me, a bachur who’s fighting every day to break free, feel free to reach out to me at hopeful1245@gmail.com. I can use the chizuk from other bachrim and im sure you can use the chizuk as well. We are all in this together!
My thread on the forum

Re: This Is scary 10 Jul 2022 18:32 #383135

Baruchhashem989 wrote on 10 Jul 2022 17:17:
Does it ever get easier?  Will the urges ever stop?

I'll address your second question first: Will the urges ever stop?
Do you want them to stop? I know that I wouldn't. If I were to lose all desire I'd go and have myself checked out.
What I want is to be able to manage it. I want to control when it should appear and where and how to use it.
For close to 25 years it pretty much controlled me, my goal is to take over that position. I want to tame and ride the horse.

It's a process. It might take a long time. It might be very hard, even more so in the beginning.

Does it get easier?
Does lifting weights get easier? Not necessarily. If done with a strategy and with consistency, you become stronger and you can manage more.

To summarize, don't wait for the urges to disappear, build a strategy that will teach you to harness and become in control of it. Be consistent and you'll build yourself into a bigger stronger human being.

Hatzlacha!
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: This Is scary 10 Jul 2022 21:27 #383148

  • grant400
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Oh boy! I'd love if I would be able to remove my desire completely! 

Re: This Is scary 10 Jul 2022 22:01 #383151

Wow you guys are amazing!

Anyone have experience with porn etc. being an escape for anxiety?
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