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TOPIC: Withdrawal 338 Views

Withdrawal 15 Apr 2022 06:26 #380003

  • shmuu
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Hello chevra,
Is there anyone that can relate to my story. During withdrawal I experienced a minor psychosis. It happened during my 3rd month clean and continued for another 7 months. Unfortunately, I went back to my sin. I had no desire to do it but I was board and suffering. The psychosis (paranoia ) disappeared right away. This happened twice in my life. I went on to be diagnosed with bipolar. But can it just be a withdrawal from sexual behavior? The cause and effect seem so real. The diagnosis is based upon the paranoia. I was 100% clean for 10 months. I got my "feelings" back during that time. I started experiencing anger, but also happiness. I had a very intense drive to connect to others. I don't know what to make of that year. I can tell you that the 1st 6 months felt great. I felt like a new person. Can anyone relate to this? Also, this is my fear. It prevents me from following through with this holy journey. I hope someone can offer help please. This was typed on an android and may contain spelling mistakes. 

Re: Withdrawal 28 Nov 2024 20:25 #426054

  • shmuu
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This post was edited for clarification purposes. I'm responding to myself from a couple years ago. What you went through was a spiritual experience. It's cha'val that the world is unaware of what a spiritual experience looks like. There is very little support for someone going through a spiritual experience. Therefore the person is likely to be diagnosed with a mental illness and the person is likely to be encouraged to forget about the experience. This is cha'val because it also means forgetting all the good that came out from the experience. I believe if we had a support group for these types of experiences we would be able to bring healing to a larger audience. Although in the 12-step program many people also have a spiritual experience, not all spiritual experiences are equal. Indeed to feel isolated because of the experience could be painful and forgetting about it might seem to be the easier way to go. However, if you truly do forget about the entire experience the addiction issue is likely to come back eventually. It might take a few years before the negative behavior returns but it's likely to return. In the blue book it speaks about people having a spiritual experience. Their spiritual experience was 100% balanced perhaps and things went well for them all around. I doubt it's like that for most people and this might explain the unsuccess rate of the 12 step program. It might also explain why "Psychosis" is considered an actual symptom of withdrawal. In realty, this psychosis is mostly a spiritual experience and is a ches'ed from Hashem. For some people this temporary "psychosis" might be the only way for them to truly break free. If only the world would treat it as such, I think we would have many more recovery stories. If there is anyone who is able to support what I'm saying and offer guidance I would love to hear, especially from someone who's been there or who has had a loved one who's been there. 
Last Edit: 01 Dec 2024 16:19 by shmuu. Reason: My first post wasn't clear that I was responding to myself. It therefore came across as judgemental. In addition it didn't invite feedback. Perhaps this edited post will be more productive.

Re: Withdrawal 29 Nov 2024 11:04 #426125

Shmuu wrote on 15 Apr 2022 06:26:
Hello chevra,
Is there anyone that can relate to my story. During withdrawal I experienced a minor psychosis. It happened during my 3rd month clean and continued for another 7 months. Unfortunately, I went back to my sin. I had no desire to do it but I was board and suffering. The psychosis (paranoia ) disappeared right away. This happened twice in my life. I went on to be diagnosed with bipolar. But can it just be a withdrawal from sexual behavior? The cause and effect seem so real. The diagnosis is based upon the paranoia. I was 100% clean for 10 months. I got my "feelings" back during that time. I started experiencing anger, but also happiness. I had a very intense drive to connect to others. I don't know what to make of that year. I can tell you that the 1st 6 months felt great. I felt like a new person. Can anyone relate to this? Also, this is my fear. It prevents me from following through with this holy journey. I hope someone can offer help please. This was typed on an android and may contain spelling mistakes. 

Hey there where you holding in the battle?

Re: Withdrawal 29 Nov 2024 11:26 #426129

  • shmuu
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I don't know. I will have a clearer picture in about 90 days I believe. 

Re: Withdrawal 29 Nov 2024 12:57 #426132

Wish you luck hitting 90 and beyond!

Re: Withdrawal 01 Dec 2024 17:14 #426229

  • shmuu
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I have a clearer picture already. Where am I holding? Very far from where I want to be. Do you have any advice? 

Re: Withdrawal 01 Dec 2024 17:19 #426232

  • rebakiva
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Welcome brother, The best advice is to reach out to the great mentors here, starting with the mentor in chief, HHM at michelgelner@gmail.com , or EERIE, or MUTTEL, its the best tool that has proven itself over and over again

KOMT!!!
With love Akiva
Talking with someone, is not about getting advice, it's about frienship, accountability & distraction;

Please feel free to contact me at 347-494-0430 {google voice} at any time or; 
PM me at mevakesh247@gmail.com

Check out My story here:  My strategy is to fight it with excitment ביחד ננצח
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