I don’t feel I’m doing well
I’m not masturbating
I’m not watching porn
But I do look on the street….
When I’m in the grocery, I do find myself in the aisle, something I didn’t do for a long time
It means much too much to me to see a nice women etc.
You know when a computer thinks, there is this turning ring, I feel by me lately my brain is doing that to find lust in everything, going to a store, going to doctor etc. the computer [brain] processing it with lust
I need to get to refocus
Practice
1. Urge surfing
2. Mindfulness
3. ACT
Because just fighting doesn’t help, it actually makes it worse
So I need to find a way that it doesn’t have a grip on me, not that I’m fighting the grip it has on me
So what am I doing L’maseh
Life is so busy or distracting and it doesn’t happen to have time to practice the above
Maybe a partner would be a great idea, so it keeps me in check, and it takes me out from the isolation