The first thing I would say is that you need to celebrate your amazing successes!
Read through this forum and you'll realize that you're from the top 1% - really inspiring!
It's very important to be prepared before going home so that you'll be able to overcome the nisyonos that await you there.
Chazal tell us that a person does not sin unless he is overcome by a spirit of foolishness. At the time of a nisayon, our rational selves go into “sleep mode” and we can do things that in hindsight we know are both bad and self-destructive. Preparation is therefore key to recognizing the faulty thought patterns generated by one’s yetzer hara.
Here are some other good tips:
1) Don't be so afraid of a fall. Sometimes the anxiety of falling can lead to a fall! Falls are normal, they aren't the end of the world. This is not about "Never doing it again." It's about making good progress in this area.
2) Take it one day at a time. Can you stay clean just for today? Awesome!
3) Use the group support of GYE to reach out to others, stay out of isolation and use other's help and advice to push you along.
4) The TaPHSiC method can help make falls much more difficult, hence, less of an option in your mind -- and therefore less to be worried about.
Keep up the good work!
