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TOPIC: Again 732 Views

Again 21 Mar 2021 13:51 #365776

  • nochamol
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Well, here I am at this holy place telling me (and even yelling at me...) "guard your eyes".

Let me start with sharing my story - in short - with you, I'm a 27 year old chassidishe yungerman, chassidishe yungerman I said? many would consider me a chanyokishe yingerman, either way, I'm also addicted to sex and porn.

it all started, ummm, I don't really remember when but years and years, since I was little I remember myself fantasizing and lusting, as soon as I got married, although telling myself that all will get better afterward, but nothing improved it only got worse especially after being introduced and exposed to the internet with all it's harms it has to sell, I've been through a long long journey until with Hashem's help I arrived here at GYE where I hope to him that I'll finally get helped to recover from my addiction and get nearer to him once again

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 13:56 #365779

  • happyyid
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Welcome Nochamol!
Glad you made it here. It's the best place to be!
Keep on posting. It does wonders.

Stay in touch
HappyYid
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 13:59 #365780

  • Striving Avreich
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Welcome Nochamol!
Great to have you here.
I am a 25 year old Litvishe Yungerman and have been struggling with pornography for at least 13 years and masturbation at least 11 years. I reengaged in GYE a couple of months ago & Boruch Hashem the forum here, the posts of many Heilige people here, R' HHM, the story tellers and many more have helped and I am doing the best I have ever been in this area.
Stick around, learn, post, engage, make friends and soak up the Kedushah and gevurah.
I'd also suggest getting access to the Baal Habatim's forum for married GYEers.
Hatzlachah! Feel free to reach out just to schmooze 

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 14:02 #365781

  • happyyid
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Even chanyokishe people struggle with this?? 
For those that don't know what chanyokishe means...it's hard to say it in English, maybe R Grant could explain.
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 14:26 #365782

  • nochamol
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Thanks everybody, good feeling to be welcomed so fast by a number of old members.

Chanyokish I would suggest they use it to call the frum of the frum.
But you know what the kotzker said what initializes the word פרום, it's פ'יל ר'שעות ו'וייניג מ'צוות...

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 14:55 #365784

  • zedj
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Welcome Nochamal!

No matter how chanyokish you are this nisoyon can effect anybody.

You've come to the right place.
Keep posting and stay connected..bezh you you will learn alot of tools to tatake on the urges one day at a time.

What are sine things you tried?
Do you have a filter?

Anyone that can keep you accountable?
GYE has a partner program if not.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 15:10 #365785

  • Rebuild613
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.
Demolished is my real name
Fool is my middle name
Last Edit: 23 Mar 2021 14:18 by Rebuild613. Reason: .

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 15:32 #365786

  • Rebuild613
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Demolished is my real name
Fool is my middle name
Last Edit: 23 Mar 2021 14:20 by Rebuild613. Reason: .

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 15:45 #365788

  • lou
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Welcome!
This is the right place! Hatzlocha on your journey

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 16:24 #365793

  • TrueServant
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sholom aleicheim!! and I think that פרום stands for

פ'ייטער ר'יין ו'היילגע מ'ענטש

hatzlocha raba, and welcome הבא לטהר מסייעין אותו, you came to right place, just the fact that your here and you wanna win the battle is huge, there are many great people here that have lots to share, there's what to learn from everybody! just stick around, good luck!

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 17:04 #365805

  • nochamol
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@Rebuild613
I know English well און איך קען אויך אויך אידיש
​actually, to be honest I am already signed up on hitdanoigen.com for my Yiddish typing, now I'm here to join the holy club in english as well because if this will help bring me forward why not give it a try?

@TrueServant
I have no intention to win my only goal is to fight and guess what, "surrender" and the way חנוכה puts it on HDO:
נישט יעדע מלחמה ענדיגט זיך מיט א קלינגעדיגן נצחון,
אבער יעדער אנטשלאסענער קעמפער איז א העלד.

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 17:18 #365808

  • TrueServant
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i guess if were supposed to be malachim than winning means perfection, but if your a person which i suppose you are because i doubt that the angles struggle with this, than winning means progression like you said fighting so keep it up and let us know whats going on, like @zedj asked do u have a filter in place? what are ur plans going into this fight?

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 17:59 #365814

  • sapy
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Hi Nochamol, welcome aboard!
first of all you labeled yourself an addict pretty fast.... many believe that if you are not one the label only harms, and if you really are one, well, this forum will probably not be enough. So let's assume your not....
secondly, what exactly are you struggling with? You wrote that you are a sex addict, are you struggling with porn, masterbation etc.? 
and third why do you wanna stop? Why now? 
looking forward to hearing from you more!

Re: Again 21 Mar 2021 20:03 #365826

  • eyes
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Welcome Tzaddikel,
For reaching out you reached a very high darge.
Like I always write to make sure you have strong filters on your devises.
If you are as chassidishe as me, you probably have a flip phone, but if you dont its worth it.
Get a strong filter from techloq. 
They are always coming out with better methods.

Stay here and stay strong.
DOnt be shy to share your story or struggles.
We are your anonymous brother and we all want the best for you and your marriage. We want you to succeed, but we need one thing! That is for you to stay on and dont disappear.

Nochumol we are here for you stay strong.
Just like the yidden left the bitter golus of mitzrayim you will leave you maitzarim and gvulim that are holding you back. You came in the right week. May your 20th day clean be on the first day of pesach.

Welcome 
Einayim
Last Edit: 21 Mar 2021 20:29 by eyes.

Re: Again 22 Mar 2021 12:13 #365864

  • nochamol
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All;

Yes, I have a filter the most stringencies of gedorim of the filter's capabilities, I can't see any human images not only shaded but completely blocked, blocked any embedded videos and whenever I'll find any loophole I'll advise it to the filter company as soon as I'll come across the loophole;
Yes, I have WEBCHAVER with a great partner;
Yes, I have a password on my filter so that I can't request anything without entering the password, and the best part of the P/W is that my wife has half and myself the other part, so every request has to be done together with her;
Yes, I have a simple flip phone with calculator capability... only.

Yet, with all these mentioned above I can still fall and I can still cheat, which brings me to the ultimate conclusion that: "no filter and no webchaver, no wife and no kosher phone will guard me!" I have to remember that אין הדבר תלוי אלא בי it will only work if I and only I will decide with the utmost absoluteness that from now on I will try my best to stay sober, to beseech my god and try to do his will only, forever.

And to the one who asked me about my label, as I mentioned in my first comment, I come a long long way and yes, I know clearly that (unfortunately) [gladly] I meet full criteria of an addict. Remember I haven't started here, I want to be here as another tool for me in my way to sobriety and full recovery bezras hashem.
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