I have to work on this too 

231 days. Doing incredible BH

tell the oilam whats working for you...

I guess this is mostly for newcomers who haven't read through my thread heres my story in intensely summarized form

looking back i was thinking about women at night since I was maybe 6 or 7 but didnt even process it until now when I'm like ok that's when it started. Was likely due to exposure to secular culture

Started acting out around age 13 at first I had no idea what i was even doing it just felt good

I progressed to feel gross so I developed a more practical system to get my fulfillment than acting out in my bed every night

By the time I was maybe 15 or 16 I discovered i could find things on the internet that made acting out more fun and intense

I was already in deep but this made it much worse

Didn't even know it was assur till maybe 16.5 or 17 years old which is when I started to attempt to stop

Just used tallys to see how far I could get without acting out- farthest I got was maybe 10 days. This went on for about a year

Roughly when I turned 18 i found guard your eyes by complete miracle dont even remember how I found it but I live in a very modern community no one knows about it somehow I just found it

Didn't post at first but after my first fall since joining gye (16 or 17 day streak my longest at the time) I started posting

So all I was doing was posting and keeping streak via 90 day challenge

And for me posting was immensely helpful and j with posting and keeping track I was able to get where I am today

I have not masturbated since i started posting consistently 

Im currently 18 years old

Please make yourself available to speak to other single guys who do not believe it is possible to stay clean for extended periods of time. 

Dude, you are a superhero.

Literally a poster boy for GYE.

​HHM is spot on; you are uniquely poised to provide life-changing chizuk for so many..

IMG

Hashem Help Me wrote on 06 Oct 2021 04:41:

If anyone wants to reach out my email is EvedHashem1836@gmail.com

I have to keep myself strong too so if anyone wants to schmooze please dont get too graphic and detailed

Quick update for the guys:

Currently holding above 300 days. If you asked me any time in the last 5 years if I'd have a streak like this I dont think I'd believe I could do it

Didn't realize how much i wasn't living life before. Now I can really spend my time learning and davening and feel real and not like a faker. Feel more like a human and less like an animal.

Work isnt done though. Been getting some bad thoughts recently probably due to me being around the internet more recently (still don't have a filter). Planning on offering the smartphone as a korban olah in the near future when I switch yeshivas, current yeshiva im in requires it unfortunately. 

Obviously just having hirhurim is a huge step up from where I used to be but for maybe a 70-100 day period until recently didnt even have those so much so want to make sure I stay strong.


Push through guys. You dont want to live your life like this. The more you fight the easier it gets.

Wishing everyone here much hatzlocha.

Amazing. You're an inspiration to us all!

I never really planned on making it this far. I guess I thought once I hit 90 I proved to myself it was possible and then I can fall and get back again or something on those lines. But its crazy that since I joined GYE I think I only fell maybe 5 or 6 times and only one of those times was after I started posting.

The time really flew by though. I still remember the first few days of my streak vividly, fighting tooth and nail to stay clean. Next thing I know I blink and I've been clean for over a year and P and M are barely a thought. (To clarify it is sometimes a thought. But not often, and when it is a thought its not so strong.) Hopefully in a few years when I get married that should diminish even more as I use the taivas for what they're meant for.

I imagine there's a lot of guys out there like me- bachurim in yeshiva not super addicted to hard pornography but get triggered by youtube, images, etc. And have been struggling for a while. 

I dont have experience of the post yeshiva life but id assume its easier to quit while in yeshiva because you spend almost the whole day learning and keeping yourself busy. For me I kind of took the concept that I wanted to be free for sure before marriage and really used that as motivation to say if I dont become free now when will I? It will only become more difficult as time goes on and I have more inappropriate stuff in my mind. 

Thats not to say its impossible to quit when one is older bit in the view of this author its easier when young.

So for all those yeshiva guys out there - the time is now! This won't dissappear magically you have to work on it and put in the effort! Get rid of the triggers for real this time, learn some sefarim about the issues, post like your life depends on it (it might), or do whatever works for you. Just make sure you tackle this now and dont let it spiral out of control.

For me I realay just broke free due to constant posting and davening and a lot of willpower. I happen to have a lot of willpower but I'm sure some guys out there who are still young might be similar. 

I also highly recommend reading a little bit of something on this topic every single day, whether that's the battle of the generation (i used a hard copy and read in bed, you can buy on Amazon for about 10 dollars) or zos brisi or something similar.

If anyone wants to get in touch with me my email is evedhashem1836@gmail.com I'd be more than happy to do my best to help aanyone. 

Wishing all much hatzlocha!

As someone who waited way too long before putting in the proper effort- I couldn’t agree more and I applaud you for taking the initiative while you are still young.



The only comment I have for any Bochur reading this, is that you should not underestimate the raging hormones and free time you have while in yeshiva. Recognize the challenges and plan accordingly.



Wishing you tremendous continued success.

*

Agreed maybe I wasn't clear - of course it is difficult I just don't think it will get any easier 

I can certainly attest to that!!

Thank you for your inspiring post and strong advice. May Hashem help you continue with much hatzlocha!