Showing our kids what a person can become and develop and refine and utilize our given strengths is all extremely important. But that has nothing to do with gadlus and sheifos it is every person's journey whether it will seem mediocre to somebody else or not. If somebody has a big soul and brain they should develop it and that is their journey. It is the picture that we create and then the pressure to fill it is what is causing immense problems.

mggsbms wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:06:

Maybe.
But I know that I would never have pushed myself to learn and make it to a real Yeshiva and shteig unless my Rebbium instilled within me a drive to attain Gadlus.
Honestly, I think this is poshut stuff.
Obviously it should be done with love and properly, but we need to communicate to our children that they are the future of Klall Yisrael.
This Dor needs to take achrayus.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:11:

That's great! But we do need to graduate of that mindset at one point (It is debatable if out should be used as a stepping stone at all) and be true to ourselves, ch"v not to become lazy and lax with our avodah but to make it real and about ourselves.

Okay. I'm not one of the smart guys just a guy with some time on my hands and a desire that someone not waste his life away because he feels that he is supposed to be the gadol hador, but will never be, so why bother at all.
When I first came here many moons ago, I believe it was Dov who commented to me stop thinking so much and start doing.
The feeling that I am supposed to be, could be the gadol hador, but I am not the gadol hador, is in my not-smart-guy opinion a form of gayvah. Now, you may say I'm not looking to be the gadol hador but simply NIC. But reading in between the lines you seem to be saying that had NIC lived up to his potential he could have been Admor NIC Shlita.
We all myself included think we are greater than we really are. As you seem to recognize is a feeling the Yetzer Hora throws upon us.
When we come up to shomayim, we will see what it is that Hashem wanted from us. We are not Neviim and we have no way of knowing. But we do know this: Hashem gave us a Torah and to the best of our abilities He wants us to keep it. So what that means on a practical level is that we need to take one day at a time and serve Him each day to the best of our abilities. Some days we will succeed. Others we won't. If we take that approach after 120 we can look back and see a lot of single days that add up to a mountain of accomplishment. The other alternative is that we can start out each day, say today there is no way I can finish the day as the gadol hador so I might as well not try. At the end of 120 we will look back, see nothing and say "you see I told you I couldn't do it."
I forget which Rishon says that our mission in life is to perform 1 mitzvah l'shem shomayim. And that is pshat in רצה הקבה לזכות את ישראל לפיכך הרבה להם ורה ומצות. Since there are so many opportunities hopefully the person will perform one right during his life time. So we don't have to write the hammek davar, we don't even have to be a tzaddik, we have to be good Jews. Treat our wives properly (not as a sex object), raise good children and be honest in business.
If you start working on that TODAY you will be able to look back in a year from now and hopefully say that I don't know whether I have reached my potential but I know that I am a better person than I was last year.
I just want to end with a story someone once told me. He was speaking to a kid that was in the dumps. The kid turned to him and said tell me Rabbi (he actually wasn't a real rabbi but a business man who was making an effort to fulfil his potential): It says that if a person does teshuva his averois become zechuyos. Tell me exactly how all of the XXX movies I've watched will become zechuyos. The business man thought for a minute and turned to him (he told me Hashem put this answer in his head on the spot). When you go to Yeshiva and start applying yourself and you eventually become a rebbi you will turn to a kid who was just like you and he asks you "how can I do it." you'll be able to respond I was the same way but look where I've come to. At that point all of those movies will become zechoyus. So NIC, do your job for today. And tomorrow do your job for tomorrow. In a couple of years when the next NIC comes on and says he is such a failure be in the position to tell him, I was there to, I felt like a nothing too. But look at me now. Everyday, I try my best to be a good yid and you can too. At that point, you will see how you were able to transform a perceived walking baal taschis into a walking baal tachlis.
Hope I didn't offend you with anything I wrote. And, if you disagree with what I wrote then I guess you'll have to wait for the smart guys to come along.

mggsbms wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:04:

There’s a difference between pressure and responsibility.
My Rosh HaYeshiva got up last week and spoke about how we are the future of Klall Yisrael and gotta fight the Yetzer etc
That was not pressure.
That was the Rosh HaYeshiva instilling within his Talmidim a sense of achrayus

I will quote something that ur-a-jew shared on my thread over 6 years ago that was tremendously helpful for me...
ur-a-jew wrote on 09 Sep 2014 20:22:

In my case, he was 100% correct. I sabotaged myself for so many years because of my beliefs that I was a failure because I wasn't reaching my potential. His advice worked for me, and I'm a better person today because of it. 
Wishing you much Hatzlacha on you're journey! 

neshamaincharge wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:21:

100% agreed.
Thats exactly what I’m saying.
Let me be clear: I’m NOT saying that we should have a “She’eefa” to become the Gadol Hador etc.

What I AM saying though, is that each person should have in his “Minds eye” a picture of who they (realistically) could be and should strive to get there.

I sometimes say “I am my greatest role model,”
What does that mean? Am I saying I’m a massive Baal Gaava?
No, what it means is that I look up to and aspire to be the person who I beleive I can become 

I am against negative pressure of any kind.
But I do very much believe in cultivating a culture which engenders and encourages guys to aspire to attain their personal potential.

Now, you can taana that it’s dangerous cuz people aren’t in touch with themselves enough to evaluate their potential.
And I hear the taana

neshamaincharge wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:21:

100% agreed.
Thats exactly what I’m saying.
Let me be clear: I’m NOT saying that we should have a “She’eefa” to become the Gadol Hador etc.

What I AM saying though, is that each person should have in his “Minds eye” a picture of who they (realistically) could be and should strive to get there.

I sometimes say “I am my greatest role model,”
What does that mean? Am I saying I’m a massive Baal Gaava?
No, what it means is that I look up to and aspire to be the person who I beleive I can become 

YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:27:

Just a reminder this all started for debate sake only... I will venture to say it's never about who we will "become", that's irelevent, it's about who we are, and working our character, learning Torah, and being duvik b'Hashem. 

starting wrote on 05 Jan 2021 04:56:

Guys guys, all I said was that I expect myself to go to Shachris. Don’t worry, I’m not chas vshalom (sarcasm) becoming a Rosh HaYeshiva anytime soon

YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:01:

And I think going to shachris, לפי where I’m holding, is a basic expectation.
And that’s ok. I have an expectation and I sometimes fail and I’m not super depressed or anything.
Because I know that I’m human and that failure is ok.
But I still have She’eefos l’Gadlus!
Will I sometimes fall short?
Of course!
But I still strive for greatness 

YeshivaGuy wrote on 05 Jan 2021 05:53:

Not sure what time zone you are in,but perhaps going to sleep now would help with that particular sheifa.. Just sayin...