Em, hello everyone, I don't if I can call myself an addicted person, because there're times when I can be many days without looking at or doing it. Although the urges come back and I can be many days at it.
Anyhow, I somehow got to this website and found it interesting, because I came to the conclusion (some time ago) that porn it not only becoming very twisted,  but also it depicts a "reallity" that influences my perception of reallity, although I didn't do anything about it. Besides, truth be said, the first time I found about this web was a month ago and I had been 11 days without doing it, so I just thought I didn't need this. But, when I got to 20 something days, the urges came back and didn't leave me. So here I am, after watching the panel with Eli Nash and the others about porn addiction. I guess that panel indeed had an effect on me.

There are a number of ways to define addiction. If you have a desire to do something, and know you shouldn't be doing it but go on to do it anyway, that indicates a loss of control. When this is repetitive, it justifies being considered an addiction.

OCD people may feel compelled to do things, but these are generally not things that are wrong. For example, repeated hand-washing, repeating words in davening, etc. OCD often responds well to medication, addiction does not.

You should accept that you do not have control over your acting-out, and therefore avail yourself of sources of help.

You know, you are a warrior.. It's just us few against the world... There is an active push, the likes of which we have never seen in the history of the world, to convert the entire world into a cesspool of lust... Even in the hippy free-love 60s, the stuff was limited in terms of its frequency and location... We have reached a point where lusting uncontrollably is encouraged and glorified... So for you to have taken on this challenge, you have decided to take on the world itself... I don't know how Reb Guard came up with this network or if he is some sort of Navi, but this refuge may be the only hold-out left on Earth... Thank you for being a part of it...

Welcome! and stay on the wagon!

During the days you don't do it, do you think about it? fantasize about doing it? constantly consider it?

I was a media junkie growing up. My perception of life and relationships are the construct of FRIENDS (ie, the more people you've been with, the better a person you are) and How I Met Your Mother (ie once you've been with every girl in New York, then you are considered a hero) and I thank God for an invitation to a calmer reality, one day at a time.

To DavidT.
Thank you for your welcome! It's been in the past couple of years that I've tried stopping without any major advances, although I didn't pay much attention when I fell. It was just something that "came" and deppending on the moment, I'd push it for later or not. But I think it wasn't something that I felt it was under my control. I just waited for the right time and bam.

To Singularity.
Thank you for your welcome!
The days I don't do it...well it depends, sometimes I think about watching a little bit or about someone, but not always. I can be some or many days without thinking about it, and "all of a sudden" I just want to do it. I can't say I wasn't influenced by the various T.V series I've watched, but because of shyness or reluctance in some cases, I've never had the "T.V series experience" so to speak, despite wanting some of it.
Nevertheless, as you wrote, one day at a time is the only way.

BH I never experienced what they did on the TV but I always wanted it and thought everyone else was getting it, contributing much to my shattered sense of self

wagon

These urges are powerful but do not have to lead to porn and masturbation, which make them worse.
Feel OK that man does have a genuine need for companionship and marriage.

But to avoid porn and masturbation - 
Mindfulness can explain self destructive behaviour.

Treat the urge to fall, as an external thought, rather than something that is part of you.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

Reality, and its objectiveness, feels like a lot to get a handle on. Loading up on dopamine inducing videos probably does influence our worldviews, probably in ways that aren't so helpful--since intense dopamine hits are really rarer in waking life. 

That's one take.

Another take is to spend some time with yourself. Intentionally eschewing technology for a period of time, say, 10 minutes. And just observe the world go by: cars, pedestrians, birds, whatever. And let that reset you. Try to carry that baseline with you. 'This is real life.'

Best,
Cy

ChaimYankle wrote on 12 May 2020 01:13:

Cars and pedestrians? What disease-free utopian world do YOU live in? :D

ChaimYankle wrote on 12 May 2020 01:13:

What a beautiful take. W ears always trying to run from ourselves, and some have lost the ability to not be able to look in the mirror. This is not a technology rant as I'm sure most of us have heard... But...

Its right now always about escaping the bad and not wanting to have any pain. In reality, we don't get over the break up so quickly like the guy did in that sitcom we watch. Feelings and thoughts are real and sometimes may even feel tangible. 
If you can live with pain, and not only live with but embrace it, you will have success in anything you put your mind to. That doesn't mean you can't feel sad, or upset, or guilty etc. but it does mean that you have the ability to be content and in a place of sanity no matter what life throws at you (or you throw at yourself).
Much luck, and KEEP POSTING. 

If if you can watch a bird for 20 minutes without going crazy, your on your way.