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How to Stop Lying
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TOPIC: How to Stop Lying 1538 Views

How to Stop Lying 16 Jul 2019 00:56 #342312

  • greenland55
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 31
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Hello all,

For almost two weeks now I've been on GYE. and have been clean over a week B''H. I'm a newly observant Jew raised reform, spent quite a bit of time what you might call "hyper-reform" and have been working on stopping for before I returned to Judaism.
One of my main problems is that my Yetzer HaRa has developed new strategies, (or I have developed them in order to facilitate it, whichever is correct).

Basically I can take all of the steps to start watching schmutz, while denying I am doing so. This involves going into a private location with a computer to just "browse innocently" as I tell myself, disabling filters and such by pretending that I want to go onto the non-pornographic sections of sites that also contain pornography, and while I am undoubtedly doing the deed trying not too think too much.

Even though I've been clean for some time, I have been on a bit of a trip. But on Wednesday I come home and will have all of the opportunities and difficulties that I had earlier, so if anybody could give strategies for such a situation I would be greatly appreciative.

Anyway, hello to everyone on the forum and thanks for reading!

Re: How to Stop Lying 17 Jul 2019 10:31 #342348

  • Singularity
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1313
  • Karma: 67
Hi Greenland. Seems you're a greenhorn to true authentic beautiful yiddishkeit. Welcome aboard! We're thrilled to have you.

You're in the same boat re the honesty. We're only as sick as our secrets. One of the best ways to kill the lust is to bring it out in the open, be honest with others and that will lead to self honesty. As Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai said to his talmidim (Brachos 28b?) "May your fear of heaven be on the level of your fear towards other people", because we will sin as long as nobody else sees. But there's always Someone who sees, no?

Hatzlocha on your journey.

PS: Speak with safe people. Don't go tell your issues to your wife, parents etc if they really won't understand. Here's a good place to start.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D

Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
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Re: How to Stop Lying 23 Jul 2019 03:30 #342485

  • greenland55
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • Junior Boarder
  • Posts: 31
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Hi Singularity, yeah you would be correct in saying that. Learning the lingo as I go. That line really is something. I've never gone and done any of this if my sibling is in the room for instance, but I'll do it in front of Hashem.

Thanks for the PS. My family isn't religious, and the religious people I know I'm not comfortable talking about this stuff with so basically this site has served me well for over 2 weeks clean now BH.

Re: How to Stop Lying 23 Jul 2019 07:17 #342488

  • David26fr
  • Current streak: 48 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 191
  • Karma: 8
Welcome to GYE

Perhaps it could be good to find if there are partners in your area ? 
Somebody to speak with about these issues, and you can call him for help where you are in a "tendious" situation.
There is a section in the GYE website to find one :

Also, how about to have a separate account for you in the computer, with a filter for the Internet only for you ?

BeHatzlacha !
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