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Looking for help
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TOPIC: Looking for help 286 Views

Looking for help 31 May 2019 00:16 #341544

  • Helpme26
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Hi everyone: I am married 39 , I have children and  I have being with this problem since a teenager, when I got in tshuba I stopped this addiction, but when I started having problems in my marriage got back in this problem again, and it got worst, my wife discovered it!! Since then we couldn't stop having problems and discussions, even when I was clean, we have being separated for six months and my problem is getting worst. I need to stop this, if we can get back together or not I need to get better and stop destroying my neshamah. If anyone have comments please help me. Thank you all and I am glad to find this site 

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 00:37 #341545

  • cordnoy
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Sorry to hear that. May God be with you. What have you tried to stop? What has worked? What hasn't? Perhaps read the gye handbook and see if any ideas there speak to you.

Godspeed
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 02:35 #341549

  • Readyforhelp
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I can definitely resonate with you. I'm 30 and  my wife recently found out after years of struggling. I'm on day 10 with gye and I feel just engaging with others in similar situations has helped me get to day 10 and kept me accountable. Glad I found this site as well.

wishing you much success!  

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 02:52 #341550

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 04:11 #341553

  • Workingguy
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Unsolicited psychological advice for all those people whose wives discovered them, and especially if separation is a result of that- go for professional help right away. With issues like these being all too commonplace in today’s day and age, divorce or separation don’t have to be the result of this. A good therapist can work with you, and sometimes a qualified Rov can help too. Don’t go it alone. 

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 05:50 #341554

Exactly! Nothing personal and welcome but If your wife busted you get the beep off gye and get help from a professional immediately! And it was worth you finding gye just to realize that it's normal what you're going thru and it'll be alright if you get help from a great sex therapist/marriage counselor etc
Feel free to pm me, I'm a bochur, part of a bi weekly 12 step phone call BH and I meet my gye accountability partner face to face once a week. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: Looking for help 31 May 2019 06:30 #341556

  • GrowStrong
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therapy might help him save his marriage which is very important but if its a 20-30 year habit he might need more than therapy to help stopping to act out...
He may find those tools here, or he may be led from here to a 12 step program or some other type of recovery program that will help him kick the habit.
Friend if you are ready to quit and truly want to quit, its possible.
My masturbation habit turned into a 30+ year downward spiraling addiction.
Good luck!!
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