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utilizing gye
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TOPIC: utilizing gye 597 Views

utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 02:11 #340489

hey guys.
im new here, and to chatting and blogging in general.
im wondering, is there a use for chatting/blogging when all is well, or is the main use for reaching out in desperation. whether when walking the edge or after falling?

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 05:00 #340492

  • Hashem Help Me
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If you stay in touch when things are ok, then it is easier to reach out in challenging times
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 14:59 #340497

  • privatep
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Hey, welcome i have only been here for 2 weeks and I can share with you some of the things that have been working for me so far. I feel that staying connected with the people here all the time has been such a tremendous source of energy to stay focused and fight the struggle. The more you connect with people you will see who is your style and building that relationship is so so POWERFUL!!!!! 

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 16:37 #340500

not being a very outgoing type, and not having the best social skills, how do i go about staying connected when all is well? whats the conversation supposed to look like? (lol, i feel like such an idiot...)

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 17:00 #340502

  • privatep
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You dont need to feel that way we are all here to support you.
You want to talk about things that have worked for you or the things that have worked for others. Sometimes this can lead you to trying new things that can give you more chizuk. 
I know that it can feel very overwhelming at first give it time!!

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 17:56 #340506

  • 360gye
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In my opinion, I think it is important to regularly talk to people, and post on the forum (if you want) as it gives you a sense of belonging and companionship. If you chat with people regularly you get more acquainted with them and feel closer to them and more willing to reach out when you need. It is weird and awkward to reach out to a stranger when you're struggling and ask for help, but if you get to know him and get used to just chatting, you will feel a deeper connection and hopefully it will be easier to reach out when it counts

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 19:41 #340510

first of all, thanks everyone for taking the time to answer.

my question is, what is the "just chatting" supposed to look like when not coming with a specific taiva/yetzer hora right now? 
(please remember your talking to someone who TRULY doesnt do "social" too well but would love to learn how... please be as clear as possible and dont assume i understand. i dont:))

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 20:29 #340512

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Hi Qwerty, welcome from another non-socialist . For me making friends here was one of the best things that ever happened to me. By getting to know people it brings me out of my isolation and makes it easier to deal with my issues. You can discuss anything that interests or amuses you, it can be what color elephant not to think about, how to spell cholent/cholint, whether ticklish people like black jellybeans, etc. The point is to feel comfortable with people and be able to open up to them for help. And by learning to be friendly in a safe online environment it will help you to become more social in real life, and get out of the isolation that helps fuel our obsessions. 

Hatzlacha!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: utilizing gye 10 Apr 2019 20:40 #340514

  • 360gye
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In my opinion, "just chatting" can either mean chat about the person's/your struggle in general and try to understand it better, or "just chat" about your lives in general and try to develop a friendship with the person. 
Option 1:  Even when you're not currently struggling it is important to develop a deeper understanding of what triggers you and coming up with different idea of how to overcome those triggers. Discussing your struggles and different scenario's and the other persons struggles and scenarios when they struggle can be useful to identify key triggers and what to stay away from, or how to fix it
Option 2: Like I mentioned in my previous response, it is important to have a sort of friendship with someone on GYE which will make it easier to talk to someone when you struggle. Just try talking to people as if you're meeting someone new. Get acquainted with them, talk to them about their life, what they're doing, their age, family, work, etc.
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