Hi all, 

I've been struggling with inappropriate images and sites and masturbating, not so much porn, for about 10 years. 

I've made resolutions to change many a time. I feel like my lusting excessively may have to with my inability to properly express myself. I'm more of a closed person. In certain areas I'm extremely self confident yet in other areas I'm lacking self confidence. I very much feel that these issues make me act out to feel good etc... 

Would like a partner in a similar situation as me. 

Hoping to recover,

Yismachyisroel18 wrote on 03 Sep 2018 23:19:

Hi. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have pretty rough edges on the social side so I hope I don't say anything hurtful to you ...

After you made each resolution to stop, did you decide to act out again because you are a closed person, or for some other reason?

What happened to me is that I could not pass up the opportunity to get turned on a little more, and a little more, and so on, and after a while the payoff associated with acting out started looking really large, so I chose to act out.

mzl wrote on 03 Sep 2018 23:38:

Hi mzl, 

I appreciate your response. I'm not worried about your rough edges. I'm hear to grow. Throw it at me bluntly lol.

Was just stating that when self confidence is lacking I e found it harder for me to push against the yh. When I was doing good, whether it be spiritual or in other ways I've been able to battle easier. 

Why do sometimes half my post post? I've just edited this 3-4 times. 

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Hang around and iyh you will get better. there are other ways to deal with feelings other than masturbation. Try exercise for example. There are also personal development courses given to help open up a bit more. Maybe look into them. They can be beneficial.

Yismachyisroel18 wrote on 03 Sep 2018 23:43:

Can you give me a concrete example of a situation where your self confidence was lacking, as you said?

Welcome aboard!

There are definitely different things that trigger us and the fact that your self aware is a huge start. A big part of the recovery is learning about ourselves and learning to notice patterns and times or situations that we find as the source or beginning of our falls.

Even more helpful is connecting with other people like you and me who are also struggling or were struggling and you'll see your not alone. My biggest chizuk here is that there are other normal, healthy, and erliche people out there that were/are also doing the same things I was who also wanted so badly to stop. And then there are those who did succeed in breaking free which showed me that it can happen and there is hope. With the help of others who went through the same thing, I was able to do it. Chasdei Hashem!

Good for you for getting involved!! Stay strong and Hashem will help you out!! Hatzlacha rabba!!