Hi. I'm not an addict but I show some addictive patterns and behaviors.
Today I will introduce myself and why I am here.

I recognize that I am going through a stage of weakness and I need chizuk to save myself from a life of living gehinom I might slip into.

I have filters on all my devices, but I recently found by accident a couple of loopholes. I decided to test them a bit:  writing a couple of words that didn't involve any females. Involving males doing nothing but nude... What could be more innocent than that...  Afterwards I wanted to try another word that was a bit more graphic- also involving males not doing anything, and then I said to myself where will this lead me to? I felt a very strong attraction to continue checking it out, continue searching... Then I realized that I might fall big time...

I think that above each internet user, be it for work or anything else there is a soton waiting... waiting and laughing... he can wait 10 or 20 years and have a person use the internet totally clean... why not? he knows that at some point he can make that confident person that feels like palti ben laish* fall in a second... Its worth his wait... I have used the internet for years, with no intention or interest into looking at any ossur material, and then... something changed, I started feeling more taavah than I did in many years...

I know that couriosity is a tool of the yetzer. He tells you- you don't want to see porn, you aren't a Rosho who would do such things intentionally, you just want to test your filter, just to see if all that shmutz is available, of course that's all shmutz and horrible and you have no desire for it... but once you see it and the dopamine in your brain gets released it might be to late... You might change your whole world like odom harishon did...
A person who has never seen any graphic pornography or at least not in many years can start trembling just from seeing a close up of a naked man, feel a tshuka for more and more graphic material,  who knows what his next search might be... I wanted to stay clean from any searches, from any loopholes and that's why I am here.

*palti ben laish- married Michal the daughter of shoul hamelech who was married to dovid hamelech and slept with her in the same bed and never touched her.

hi,welcome, has anything changed in your life?has yiddishkite ,learning,davening,daf yomi lost its excitement ? are you married?sorry for all these questions , dont want to ask anymore, do you want to tell us a little about yourself it might help the experts give you good ideas ,hatzlacha in staying clean.

Welcome. It is wise to avoid any unnecessary searches due to where our curiosity will lead us. As ieeyc asked - why is this happening now? Are you unhappy with something in your life these days?

Welcome!  Can you talk to someone?  Your rav, a friend, a family member.  That may go a long way to helping you.  Keep posting here.