Hi, I am strongheart. I have struggled with masturbation for over 17 years. I believe it started being a problem for me after I went into the navy when I was 21. When I was deployed it was a very sad, stressful and lonely life. I basically masturbated every single night I was out at sea for long periods of time.
After I was discharged I went through a few short lived relationships and always would resort to masturbation during the periods when I was single. I've continued this until the present day and struggled to give it up.
Most people including therapists I've talked to minimize it as something not to worry about. For me I just do not want to masturbate anymore. I can go without watching porn and of course obviously prefer real sex to watching a moving picture of a stranger. So porn isn't really the big issue for me, but I cannot seem to give up self pleasuring myself on a nightly basis. I masturbate because I am lonely a lot, stressed, tired, can't sleep etc.
Most of my relationships have been based on sex and are short lived. I have figured out that I have not been choosing the right type of women to interact with and have not been clear with myself or women until recently in what I want beyond a sexual relationship to this point.
There is always a reason to masturbate. I don't want to continue to live my life this way. I am hoping to find more reasons not to and hoping to find more people that support me in my efforts to stop.
I'd like to focus my energy on living a more spiritual life and actualizing a meaningful, committed relationship with a woman who treats me the way I want to be treated with respect and love.