Thank you Cordnoy. My life is infinitely better since going to meetings etc. SA changed my whole attitude to life. And it also helped my obsessions. But for some reason, I could not stay clean long-term - which BTW is also progress, but I got very frustrated and resentful, and I could not continue "banging my head on the wall" so I stopped going.
But now I am here thank Gd for better or for worse. Clean today which is what counts. 
And just to share a "small" "surrender" I left my unfiltered device where I cannot get it easily. (It actually has a filter but I managed to get around it :-( ).