Hi friends,

This project is amazing. Thanks for your support. I'm in a battle. I grew up totally secular in secular schools. Didn't even have a bar mitvah.

Im 32. Started doing Tshuvah about 3-5 years ago. Before that I had a very active sex life.

I'm totally convinced theoretically of the Torah path but find it hard to shake the silly fantasies and practises, which I know lead nowhere.

Thanks,

Hermes (code name) 

Welcome. Maybe post some more info about what your challenges are and what you would like to fix. Wishing you success.

Wow you're really special! I'm sure that making that change wasn't easy either.
I'm confident that the GYE program will help you get rid of these nonsense, especially for a strong person like you.
It's not easy for any of us even though most of us grew up in religious societies, but if you were able to get to what you are today you'll definitely overcome this one as well.
Much hatzlacha! Keep us posted!

At some point I gave up everything. But then when I became a father the pressure of that and making aliyah and getting into a challenging new job has sort of made me loosen up. I first began masturbating. Then it became usual. Then I started travelling for work, which meant for the first time since I got married leaving the house and spending days by myself. This lead me to "look" for women of my past. At first without any real intentions, then I started fantasising. So in a desperate attempt to not slip up, I even visited a prostitute. I thought it would be better than slipping up with someone I know in society. It helped for a while. I got a bit better. At home as I started going back to shul and getting my routine going, things got a little bit better. Right now I'm in a business trip. I feel there has been improvement, BH.

Honest post. Getting it all out is therapeutic. Connect with the chevra here. keep posting.

Welcome!  It is really hard to give up once you are used to it for so long.  Stay committed to recovery.  Your family life is on the line.  Do you have anyone you can speak to?  A rav,  a friend, a therapist???  NEVER GIVE UP!

One of the major benefits I get from gye is motivation, I know I'm working on a project, I have goals that I want to achieve. This keeps me going. I think you can use it too, yes you have some challenges that brings you back to that problem, but when you know that you're on a mission it's (sometimes) much easier to overcome.