Okay so for the moment I would like to describe how powerless I am. I am unable to do anything at the moment without distracting movies TV eating playing out etc etc. I can only temporarily satisfy myself on minute to minute basis. I have dropped out of university and I feel like I have absolutely no future. I utterly despair of ever being a functional person ever again. I need rehab.

Hi Landmine

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.

You don't seem to have given up yet since you came here.

I can see in you that most definitely have full capabilities to be a functional person, you just gotta believe that.

Chazak V'emutz

Welcome!  You have come to the right place.  Do you know where/how to go to rehab?

Hi i realy don't know how difficult your situation is 
but in my story every time i had a hard time with anything automatically i found my self
in deep lust looking at p**n etc
even i knew
1 i'm going to burn in gihanim
2 ruin my life  
3 i'm going to regret 
4 it is going to make me more depressed  
it wasn't stop me 
so i act out then i got more depressed so i act out again............... 
recently i had a very hard time at work so i felt so bad so unsuccessful that i found my self watching shmutz all the time i kept thinking at least enjoy this minute

now i figured that my only success in life is my kdusha
so every time i'm having a very bad day in i want to act out 
i'm saying to myself as long you didn't act out you are still successful
don't be depressed when you are going to be successful in job in you are going to be happy anyway then you could act out 
so i think that when person feels he don't have anything is time to say atleast i will be
successful in one thing all the way

Landmine, I completely relate! I love to escape. Well really I hate to escape but thats what i do. I escape whatever i need to do. And i escape to anything: sports, movies, tv and of course lust! And lust is the killer. Really, lust is my solution. Thats my happy place. Where i can when i am stressed, happy, bored, afraid, angry. 

In recovery, i have learned how to deal with those emotions and my character defects.

If you want to speak, email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

Welcome. You have come to a good helpful place. The chevra will iyh help you get direction and iyh recovery. Meanwhile stay connected and keep posting. The guys who stay on are the ones who get better.