GYE suggests it if nothing else works. 

I'm in SA. I love it. But I don't see the logic in suggesting SA after someone has only posted a couple of posts.

Good point.
I am actually not in SA i'm in EA (emotions Anonymous). I apologies for not being clear.
EA is what I meant by learning and doing the 12 steps. In EA instead of focusing on the specific form of acting out, we focus on the emotion that makes you feel like acting out. we have all kinds of addicts (alcoholics, substance abuse,lust etc) in EA and it seems to work for us to help us regulate our emotions and to live life on G-ds terms and hence not feel the need to control how I feel by acting out.. 
Bty have read rabbi Shais Taubs book G-d of our understanding? Its a winner! It can really help you understand who you are and why you do what you do.

Good luck

How does one join an EA group?

B"H where I live there are live group meetings.

Check out this link emotionsanonymous.org/ to see if there is a group near you. Otherwise there are phone groups Skype groups etc.

I would love there to be a phone group for frum people struggling with their emotions. So far there is my friend (who also goes to EA meetings) and myself, if you or anyone else wants to join to join to make a EA 12 step phone group, let me know!

Wishing everyone all the best.

acceptance wrote on 29 Aug 2017 16:47:

Perhaps 12 step groups are different, but I've been in a couple of (non 12 steps) frum groups, and one completely mixed group (I may have been the only Jewish one in the group). In the mixed group, people were completely open & as a result, I felt like the therapy was more effective for everybody.

In the frum groups, people were very closed. The group was very effective for me, but I think it could have been much more powerful if more people were open. Therefore, given a choice, I wouldn't necessarily choose a frum group.

Perhaps 12 step groups are different, but I've been in a couple of (non 12 steps) frum groups, and one completely mixed group (I may have been the only Jewish one in the group). In the mixed group, people were completely open & as a result, I felt like the therapy was more effective for everybody.

In the frum groups, people were very closed. The group was very effective for me, but I think it could have been much more powerful if more people were open. Therefore, given a choice, I wouldn't necessarily choose a frum group.

Hi

Not sure how you do the grey box thingy...

You are right. My EA group is 98% Non Jews and so there is complete anonymity, we don't know each others last names or very much about each other apart from what we have come to discuss.

I don't know how comfortable I would feel meeting face to face with other frum people (although in my experience that would probably change as time goes on and relationships become better/genuine) and honestly discussing my emotions (and the ways that I've tried dealing with them) and the 12 steps.

That's the advantage of a EA phone group, everyone can keep there anonymity.
On the other-hand its probably more powerful and effective to meet face to face...
We cant have everything so ill take the best I can get.

Who else is in? you can email me on acceptance613@gmail.com

I was reading your story and can relate directly to some parts. Specifically about the issues with the charts. Being a perfectionist, they became the focus, and I was completely missing the point. This lead to more falls in the end and bad feelings. One has to see if they are the right thing for him.

That leads me to the next point. It's often very hard to find out what works for oneself alone or even on these public forums. Myself and many others have found that therapy is a very good way to get everything on the table at once, with somebody who knows about the factors. It obviously depends on the person telling the whole truth though. In this situation a clear path with all factors considered can be formulated. 

A final word of advice though. This has been an issue for me and seems to have been an issue for you as well. We can't put all of our reliance into one situation or tool. We have to go into all options with an open mind set. If we go in thinking that this is finally "IT" then we will be extremely disappointed if it is not "IT".  Whether it's the charts, the forums, SA meetings, or even therapy, this mindset is very important.

I leave off that I cannot tell other people what to do. I do not know what works or does not work for them. I say everything on the forums based off of personal experiences.