Now that was hard
Now the problem is its not refined to write such a thing, well this notion  is extremely funny like I wrote before, that to do the act I do do but to write suddenly I become refined so the conclusion is that this is from the yh  or in ur words it's what's holding me back from recovery 
on the other hand however what's happening here is that I'm disconnecting this nisayon of viewing porn from my upbringing which says that the more refined words a person can use the better, b/c words have power and there are lots of more reason for that ideal, (I'm specifically not saying disconnecting from my religion) just like I'll not yelled at someone in the street f.. U although I would like to and I view that man so, so why would I treat myself any different?now maybe for recovery purposes I should use those words.

i would like to say I big THANKS for all those who take off from there time to reply to my thoughts and to gye for putting up such an incredible website.

cordnoy wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:52:


You. Cordnoy, you're something else.
Thank you for the laugh.

Markz wrote on 21 Jun 2017 22:53:

Hi marks, I love people like u, as for people like you I'll get out of my rut

Here's my situation, if I sleep well, eat well, running a normal schedule then bh there isn't much of a problem as I'm in control of myself and my thoughts don't even heed that direction it's only when I'm off balance that theres an addition, now if I take the appropriate precautions it's doable, it's only when I don't take the appropriate actions it's when i need MAGOR help; so there's 2 options 1) to daily check in on my addiction and be alert 2) when i see that in a week I'll be off balance then take precaution for that week before and for a week after I put myself back on my regular routine.

The problem that i have with the first approach is that maybe I'm feeding into the addiction, since this is a sickness and I'm taking medication maybe I'll be taking too much.

marks I believe that there are people here who visit gye every third Monday of the month and got the help they need and gye wants to reach out to them.  Could be I'm not like them but lets make sure I'm not like them.

Markz, if you're going to mention the  out in the open like that, people will find out and possibly give up the anonymity. Please be more careful, we don't want them to know...

Hi,
Welcome!  Check out the handbook,  Check out the dov quotes.  Check out the Dr. Sorotskin article on acting out.  (All can be found in my signature).  I think it is pretty common for people to be doing ok for a while, then act out for a while, ...  I did it for a long time.  The frequency and intensity of my acting out slowly kept getting worse and worse.

Keep posting.

Sounds good but if you realize that you cant control yourself and your thoughts and you keep lusting, viewing, acting out then we can speak of other ways to recover

Whatever you do don't watch videos and
Masturbate at the same .
The videos themselves should arouse you enough.
There should be no need to do two great sins at one time.

Why not masturbate instead of watching better yet sleep with someone you are only doing one sin....

sheleg wrote on 26 Jun 2017 08:19:

Sounds like water torture to me.

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 26 Jun 2017 11:23:

If you can please explain what you're trying to say?

If someone can give advice to to this dilemma that I have sometimes I feel the urge to watch porn, so I struggle with it and hange out there for a couple of hours it starts with watching utube videos of different singers then it goes down slide eventually bringing me to watch porn and m** now when I actually m** I right away feel disgust and stop watching (which makes me think that my nisayon is to m**) but then it's too late, so i go to learn, work, daven, eat and come back to some more porn, now if at the start of my struggle when I start watching those utube clips I'll just m** maybe I won't end up watching p**
so should i m** and hopefully it will prevent me from going further? But that worries me since I don't have an issue with m** on its own so if I start doing that maybe I'll start a new addiction which i had issues in the past with but I got rid of?

now I got another dilemma: I don't watch movies i have a thought that tells me that if i start watching movies I'll be able to get rid of my addiction (in the past it prevented me from watching porn) however if i do so it will change the way I view life in a couple of areas?

Now for a general question: here on this website we have learned people who follow the 12 steps so if they can please enlighten me, what's the point of counting the amount of days years of sanity if the goal is odaat, is their a diff in the quality of day 156 or 345? Or would counting the days make it easier to continue in the struggle? But if u really believe in odaat how would counting make it easier?

I'm not a card carrying 12 stepper, but I believe a real live 12 stepper would  not necessarily count days at all. 



I don't think it should be "the goal" to count.  But, at the same time, I think it helps to look back once in a while and appreciate what you have accomplished (a real 12 stepper would say "I have done nothing, G-d has done it, but as I said, I'm not a card carrying member).  It's similar to the purpose of a siyum.  I believe the Chofetz Chaim talks about people going out in klei kodesh, they should make a seudah once or twice a year.  It gives chizzuk.  It gives chashivus to what they are doing.  Same here.



It also serves to motivate others.  He acted out for x number of years, did x,y,z and now he is sober for a long period.  I think it gives others chizzuk as well.  It can be done.



I may be getting some of the 12 step attitude wrong, but I'm sure someone will step in (no pun intended) to correct me.

MIcheal94 whatever you do don't touch your genitals because your spilling your seed I.e. killing your children with your own hands.

I think that we all know the severity of the actions we do yet we still do them 
​Maybe stuffing down someones throat all the hell one can get and the devastation one causes is not the answer it wasn't for me and it wasn't for most of us here....

So I say let's find a practical solution and not try to scare the s*** out of everyone