When I was younger I don't remember when it started it might have been ages 12-13 or 13-14 and she was between the ages of 5-7 it didn't go past touch 
she is 16 now and is going through emotional/mental hardship now I have so much shame in me about it I don't know if she even remembers but I don't know what to do if any one has any experience pleas let me know I know I'm not the only one but I feel like a slimy monster every time I think about what I did  but I was so young I was so full of lust at that time I was masterbation every day a few times a day always looking for more lust so I used her as a lust object god help me please
I know I need to speak up but I'm so scared I'm a father of two kids now 

imgonadoit wrote on 07 Jun 2017 11:49:

Welcome,

SorrySorry to hear about that.

How's the rest of your life goin'?

Clean now 37 days from porn and masterbation I'm going to sa meetings and have a sponsor to work the 12 steps with
i have two jobs teaching English and special needs I feel like garbage ow got cursed out by wife for asking her to say good morning instead of just the first thing in the morning asking me to clean 

Hi,

That is something that you would work through in the 12 steps with your sponsor, "if and when to do so would injure them or others" also some might consider that an "outside issue" that could be helped via a therapist.

The fact that you are honest about something embarrassing is a good start to honest sharing with your sponsor in step work. Shame and guilt leads many  of us back to using so getting a hold of the issue with honest  sharing and step work is what has helped me. 

Not all things are to be discussed with all people even the person who was harmed in the amends process that's why a sponsor is so important to discuss and work the steps with to help guide us and not to try to figure this stuff out on our own or even worse think we are supposed or need to to figure it out on our own.

NA = Never  Alone!

imgonadoit wrote on 07 Jun 2017 11:49:

Hello, 

I do not claim to have any knowledge on this issue. That being said if your sister is going to a therapist I would think it would be wise to inform the therapist. That way the therapist has the info, and will know what to make of it. 

You could also tell the therapist on condition the therapist  douse not mention you. At least this way the therapist knows what she is dealing with. While it is probably better not to make any conditions with the therapist. If the options are you do not say anything, or you tell but place conditions. would think better option would be to tell but put on restrictions. 
Hatzlacha

bear wrote on 08 Jun 2017 06:36:

II agree with your first sentence and your endin'.

Thanks

cordnoy wrote on 08 Jun 2017 13:07:

Fair enough, I agree I have no experience.
Anyone have any expertise in this area, or know of someone or somewhere we can connect imganadoit to in order for him to get advice on how to help his sister. 

That sounds like excellent advice bear. If it seems too difficult to speak directly to the therapist, perhaps writing a letter to the therapist would be easier.

Hello,
Maybe check out 
www.tikunim-counseling.com/#home 
it is a counseling service for both victims and offenders of sexual abuse among other issues.
I think on their website it also says what they do and do not report. 
I do not know anything about this counseling service. Does anyone here know anything?
Check out the website, maybe they could advise you on what to do.
Hatzlacha

Will do thank you

hi i don't have much advice just a personal story
i also messed around with my sister (i just barely got to touching Baruch Hashem nothing major) i was around 17 18 she around 13 14 then i left for yeshiva when i was home bein hazmanim i noticed my sister changed i felt terribly guilty a half a year later i told my rebbe in town to tell my parents that i want to talk to them about this
speaking to my parents took the guilt of OMG i ruined my sister off my shoulders now it's my parents responsibility to make sure she's O.K.
Baruch Hashem my parents were gr8 about it they said you have natural taivois twisted unnatural ways

the main point for you is you are not a slimy monster (i don't think i am) and there is a way out 
i daven that Hashem should help you

Thank you would mind telling me what you mean she changed
and do you know what your parents did to help her you could pm if you want

Just to avoid causing you any problems, my advice to tell your sisters therapist on condition. Might not be a good idea. After all I have no idea if your sisters therapist would listen to your condition, or would need to report what you said.guess bb0212 advice could avoid this problem, if you write an anonymous letter that can not be traced to you.

Main point, I have no idea what I am talking about. Glad you liked the www.tikunim-counseling.com/#home
idea, because talking to them or another professional is prob your best bet.
Hatzlacha

Hi imgonadoit, that was very brave and courageous for you to speak up like this.

You may want to contact Amudim, they deal with kids going through these stuff.

If you can find the courage, perhaps tell your sister directly in this fashion:

Let her know what you were going through at the time, how you survived that, then tell her the impact it had on you and on her, then tell her that in truth you are a great big brother, you are there for her whenever you need her. 

Mesayin wrote on 12 Jun 2017 20:10:

Do you know that to be productive?