bear wrote on 19 May 2017 04:58:

Thats an interesting way to look at Hatzolah - because usually you get more stressed when you get called, no?

Welcome Icandoanything
You've come to the rigth place especially with a positive user name like you have. I like coming here even when the going is good, then i am more active on the forum and the ideas sink more into the mind. When the going is tough then you need to have the ideas ready at your fingertips, if you first have to look for them then you probably end up faster on You Tube even before you have a chance of looking up the great ideas that are out there.
There are many ways to destress, some like cooking, some baking others learning and others fitness, find what suits you best, i think the best is to tell someone what stresses you that way its out of your mind and you don't have to think about it anymore, i usually discuss the things that stress me with my wife and i feel calmer after that, and i really enjoy cooking.
Good luck

Ican, just look at all the welcomes you got! You asked about when and where to post. You can post on your thread or reply to other people on their thread. It is wise to keep posting. You stay connected to a group of people dedicated to success. Tons of advice, new concepts, and plain and poshut chizuk. Hatzlocha.

getthere wrote on 19 May 2017 09:49:

Looking for interesting ways to view Hatzolah. I know someone that joined the EMS Services so that he can respond to Woman in Labor calls. Lucky me, he lives over 100 miles away from me.

In regards to Hatzalah, ya its is true that it probably does cause stress and there can also be challenges of Shmeras Einayem on calls. But if your problem is that you are bored, don't have an outlet that excites you, or feel like you want more meaning in your life, I would think Hatzalah could be a great option. 

Disclaimer: I am not currently part of Hatzalah, I wrote this in response to what could be a good way to spend time. While I was recommending Hatzalah I was also talking to myself because I commiserate with ICANDOANYTHING. We both are looking for something meaningful in our life that can also serve as an outlet we can get very involved in. As a Rebbe said "I am not looking for Chasiedem who are Tzadikem, rather I am looking for Chasideim who are too busy doing good they don't have time to do Aveiros". And also it could also help us by providing the excitement in our life we are wired to crave. Hey, Hashem wired us to seek out excitement, prn was probably not the excitement he had in mind. But joining Hatzalah may have been. (I think there is a Gemarah that reflects a very similar idea, I think it says something along the lines of Hashem has each person wired to what he is supposed to do). So by saving lives on hatzalah, for example, the ideas was we would not just be saving patients lives but ours as well. 

Are their any Hatzalah members who could shed light on this issue from experience rather than my speculation? 

getthere wrote on 19 May 2017 09:59:

it's reassuring to hear that you find it helpful to hang out here even when the going is good. the "ready at your fingertips" idea rings really true to me. truth is, since i joined a couple of days ago, i'm on a bit of a high and i'm really enjoying reading and writing on this forum. i'm just a bit nervous for when this high ends but i'm totally committed to make this work long term with Hashem's help. And I daven that everyone else thrives as well.

bear wrote on 19 May 2017 18:10:

Any idea where that gemara is? I really like the "wired us to seek out excitement" line. it makes me feel like "this is how Hashem made me and i just have to channel it properly" as opposed to my normal thought process of "what's wrong with me that i can be like most people and just sit and enjoy reading a book?" thanks a lot for the chizuk! anyone else have thoughts on the "wired" concept?

Sorry, but I think that we basically are our own electricians.

There are exceptions.

icandoanything wrote on 19 May 2017 21:26:

Hey hey. I am not sure were the gemarah is but if I remember correctly, one of the examples the gemarah gave is that some people who like blood, its because they should be a doctor.  (so in this case some ppl who like excitement its because they  should use it in a positive way, ex. join Hatzalah, go crazy making kids happy at camp Simcha/hasc, learn Iyan with a fire(screaming, throwing chairs and all the geshmack stuff).
The idea is brought in many places. for example in the intro to orchos tzadikem I believe he writes that all middos have their place, the key is to use them in the right place, and not use them in the wrong place. I think this is also true in the Rambams "shvil Hazahuv"-"golden path" you have to use your excitement and all your other midos for the good and not for the bad. Its a rough balance, but if you do it right you are walking on the golden path. 
I believe I also heard a very similar shmuz from Rav Gordon Shlita. I think it went something like this, it was about 4 years ago so I could be remebering it wrong, and adding in other stuff, but here goes...
I think there is a Mishna or something that says you are supposed to serve Hashem with your yetzer harah and your yetzer tov. The question is I get the yetzer tov whats pshat with yetzer harah. The answer is sometimes when you do an Averia (well use prn here as an example) you do things you did not realize you were capable of. You get excited to a level you rarely feel, you stay up late even if you have to get up early the next day, you do such a good job of making sure no one knows about it, you concentrate on it for hours upon hours, you don't take no for an answer if theres an obstacle to watching you have found a way around it, etc. etc, etc,......Now all of these characteristics you displayed while working so hard to watch prn, you can use for tremendous good!!!!!
​The excitement as mentioned above can be used in many ways( in truth every thing you do in life, you can bring more excitement to it, and make it a whole nother ball game. Imagine davening without it being a pain but exciting). You realize you can stay up late, therefore even after a long day, you can still stay up and learn or accomplish a whole plethora of mitzvos. You learn to do an action not because of what others think, you can do chesed and give tzeduka without others knowing, you can learn more Le'shma and not as much for what others will say. At times we all say, learning is so hard it takes so much focus, the ravs shiur is so complex it takes so much focus. but we know now, that we can do it. We know we managed to focus for hours and hours on end in order to watch prn. same here Kal Ve'chomer we can focus on our chavrusa or ravs shiur. You don't take no for an answer, no matter how hard we found ways to watch. Same here, no excuses I can't say school/work is too hard or long, and therefore I can't become a talmed chachom, we can't say i messd up so much with shmeras einayem what hope do i have now. We can't say getting up for shul is too hard, we can't say staying calm in an argument is too hard, we can't say kebud av ve'am is too hard etc etc etc. because we know in every case how ever hard and how ever much the stacks were against us we still found a way around the obstacles in order to watch. We have to apply what we learned and realize we have a lot inside of us and WE WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. No matter what the challenge Be seyata deshmaya we will succeed. This is a pshat in how we serve Hashem with both the yetzer hara and tov. We use the Yetzer Harah to realize what we are capable of and use that in a positive way. This idea also explains the pshat of how by Teshuva Me'ahava the aveira becomes a Zechus, because from the aveira the person now learns how much he is capable of and uses his new found skill set for good. It also explains the mishna, i think, that says " in a place were balei teshuva stand, even complete tzadeikem can not stand". Because the Balei Teshuva who learned form there mistakes now know how much they are capable of. ( just a thought while writing this popped into my head, i think only by teshuva me'ahava do we say that it becomes a zechus. i think it fits in nice with an idea form Rab dessler (kuntrus hachesed) and Rav Chaim Shmulevetz(sichas muser parshas Noach) that what causes love is giving. so too here by teshuvah me'ahava the person gives from the new skill set he learns but by teshuvah me'yera he only stops sinning.)

While I do think it is also true that "we are own electricians", in the sense that if we have a drive for excitement and use it to watch prn, we wire our brains to satisfy our drive for excitement by watching prn. and over time we need more and more prn to satisfy our excitement. But if we use our drive for excitement in a positive way, say hatzala, chai lifeline, or a crazy pumped eyun seder, over time we are going to need to do even more volunteering and learning to get that same high. Mitzvah Goreres Mitzvah. and Everah Goreres Everah. We have certain characteristics could be they  were innate, or developed. But what we always  control is how we use them if and when appropriate, and suppress them and over time diminish there force when inappropriate.

bear wrote on 19 May 2017 23:41:

very very inspiring and helpful, especially on a motzei shabbos when i'm so used to browsing youtube videos at best. have not browsed youtube now in 4 days. at some points pretty painful but still feels very accomplishing. thanks a lot and may we all continue to have hatzlacha in our growth.

Amen, thanks

Just to add.
there is also a letter from Rav Huttner I heard from my mashgiach and from the GYE emails that says the passuk of sheva yepal tzadek vkom. Is saying that what makes a tzadik is that he falls, but he grows from his falls. Rav Huttner also writes that the chofetz chaim was not born perfect, he mestama had falls, but what made the chofetz chaim the chofetz chaim was that he grew from his falls.

Also heard a Rabbi describe Mir as a bunch of hormonal bochrem channeling their sexual energy to learning and this is what causes the "roar of Mir" (as his friend put it)

bear wrote on 21 May 2017 05:30:

Surely that is the same with every yeshiva and yeshiva Kattana from the age of 12/13 until marriage...
Or is the Mir special in that sense?

Ya, I am assuming he meant that by every yeshiva in that age group. I think he mentioned Mir because it is an extreme example. In all Yeshivas you have guys screaming at their Chavrusas and hocking their rebbeium over the sugya. But in Mir were you have hundreds of people learning in the same place each persons screaming converges. And when you enter you literally hear "the roar of Mir".  GrowStrong you are right though. I should not limit the praise to the bochrem in Mir. This Shevach belongs to all those in the Yeshivas you mentioned. Mir is an example of one out of Baruch Hashem many Yeshivas!!

Also Cordnoy. I hear what you are saying that sometimes we are own electricians. Sometimes instead of relaxing in a healthy way like playing ball we turn to prn. Though sometimes we use our drives that could be assets and make them liabilities.