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TOPIC: Introducing myself 5261 Views

Re: Introducing myself 02 Dec 2016 17:15 #299011

and just so everyone knows, after i became totally honest (to myself, wife, hashem etc.) I could not understand why I didn't do this earlier! I don't know what I was thinking! I literally am so confused why only now I became honest. I guess the yetser hara covered my eyes from seeing what really should have been done....

also, this recording, sent to me by someone at GYE really helped me understand the importance of coming out and being TOTALLY honest, everyone should please listen to it:
guardyoureyes.com/GYEFiles/MP3s/chossidSA.mp3

hatslacha raba and a have a good shabos koidesh!

Rachamim

Re: Introducing myself 02 Dec 2016 17:38 #299013

  • cordnoy
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cordnoy wrote on 02 Dec 2016 16:12:

Urielrachamim wrote:
Sholom to the Oilum,

I appreciate all your advice. I love you all. It means so much to have a hand to hold.

I want you all to know that I listened to you all:

1) I was honest with myself that I have a serious issue that needs work and I committed to SERIOUSLY working on it (not just tell myself I would, literally doing it).
2) I was honest with my wife. I was in complete tears and felt terrible. She was unhappy but I was expecting an anger storm which, Thanks to Hashem Yisborach didn't come....she seems to just feel bad for me....what can I say I am truly blessed.
3) I found a frum therapist in my area who I am going to weekly.
4) I found an SA group in my area which I will be attending bi-weekly.
5) I have an appointment to make sure what I have isn't an STD (I can't daven that it's not an STd because that would be a tefilas shav, because already it either is an std or it isn't. all im davening for is siata dishmaya from Hashem. Im trying as hard as I can and I have to really on him to do the rest).

I have to say that I used to be plagued with terrible destructive feelings (resentment, sadness, confusion) and much of that has gone away. I think once I was honest and accepted myself for who I was it helped alot.

News to come Bezras Hashem!
upward and onward in our quest!

(by the way, I discovered a great book, which I really recommend called 'the trail to tranquility' by Rav Lazer Brody. its awesome. it is exactly that, a trail to tranquility)

Rachamim

Sorry again to hear about all the stuff.
 greatI to hear about your recovery methods and steps.

I have several questions:

1. All those feelings just disappeared the moment you were honest?
2. I read the thread again. Did you tell your wife in the beginning you had issues in the past, but you are over them then?
3. How long have you been married?
4. You seem to be guessing about your wife's feelings; what does she say?

You can choose not to answer anything, but those were some of my thoughts.

B'hatzlachah

Guess you decided against answering these questions.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: Introducing myself 02 Dec 2016 17:48 #299015

My apologies, I forgot to answer you!
 I'll answer in between each question:

1. All those feelings just disappeared the moment you were honest?
No, not all. But there was a huge difference. I used to be racked the whole day with a lot of self destructive feelings (sadness, guilt, anger, confusion about life, etc.) and they caused be to do self-destructive behavior (usually lust related things, but also simple things, like eating, listening to goyishe music, etc.) which were outlets for my emotions. I don't know what will be in the future, but over the past 3 days since i came out as honest i have had like 5% of what I used to have....it is such a bracha. 

2. I read the thread again. Did you tell your wife in the beginning you had issues in the past, but you are over them then?
Correct. And I think I was over them then...there is no way to really know.

3. How long have you been married?
less than 2 years.

4. You seem to be guessing about your wife's feelings; what does she say?
Im not guessing. I have had deep heart to heart conversations, so I think I know how she feels. What I wrote is a summary of what she expressed.

Re: Introducing myself 02 Dec 2016 17:58 #299017

  • cordnoy
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Thank you.

KeepI us posted please.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Introducing myself 05 Dec 2016 18:31 #299168

  • fresh start
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B"H! 

Keep up the good work.

You should see a lot of mazal in your efforts.
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