Urielrachamim wrote:
Sholom to the Oilum,
I appreciate all your advice. I love you all. It means so much to have a hand to hold.
I want you all to know that I listened to you all:
1) I was honest with myself that I have a serious issue that needs work and I committed to SERIOUSLY working on it (not just tell myself I would, literally doing it).
2) I was honest with my wife. I was in complete tears and felt terrible. She was unhappy but I was expecting an anger storm which, Thanks to Hashem Yisborach didn't come....she seems to just feel bad for me....what can I say I am truly blessed.
3) I found a frum therapist in my area who I am going to weekly.
4) I found an SA group in my area which I will be attending bi-weekly.
5) I have an appointment to make sure what I have isn't an STD (I can't daven that it's not an STd because that would be a tefilas shav, because already it either is an std or it isn't. all im davening for is siata dishmaya from Hashem. Im trying as hard as I can and I have to really on him to do the rest).
I have to say that I used to be plagued with terrible destructive feelings (resentment, sadness, confusion) and much of that has gone away. I think once I was honest and accepted myself for who I was it helped alot.
News to come Bezras Hashem!
upward and onward in our quest!
(by the way, I discovered a great book, which I really recommend called 'the trail to tranquility' by Rav Lazer Brody. its awesome. it is exactly that, a trail to tranquility)
Rachamim
Sorry again to hear about all the stuff.
greatI to hear about your recovery methods and steps.
I have several questions:
1. All those feelings just disappeared the moment you were honest?
2. I read the thread again. Did you tell your wife in the beginning you had issues in the past, but you are over them then?
3. How long have you been married?
4. You seem to be guessing about your wife's feelings; what does she say?
You can choose not to answer anything, but those were some of my thoughts.
B'hatzlachah