Hi , my name's let's say SkyBird , I'm 20.5 yrs old at second year [ 7th semester ] of college . This awful depressing addiction has literally destroyed my last two years of youth . I was top student at my school days , had great friendship with almost anyone in my class even though I had top scores no one ever bothered me, I was in good terms with anyone , I was what I wanted to be , now I'm in college being the Last guy , the weird guy , the lazy guy , Complete opposite of what I was and I want to be 
there was a guy I didn't like in school so I said lets give him a chance maybe he has good deeds too ,After some times which I started to be friendly with him , he talked to me about what masturbation feels like and MADE me interested too much and making it look something normal [I hate him so MUCH] .
To Make this fast it went like this 
1-someone tempted me to masterbute while saying "There is no boy who doesn't masturbate" while I didn't even care about it , it bugged me and I thought maybe it's something I should do ?
2-continued this cycle , got addicted to it , found out it is really bad 
3- tried but couldn't stop it solo 
4- got addicted to pornography when I was entering college 
5- pornography addiction has had so many negative effect on my body and mind (Like losing focus easily , memory-problems depression and .... )  that I am literally a "Failure" now .
I WANT MY LIFE BACK , I can't stand the "Thing" I am now , I was not born to be this , I don't want to disappoint  my parents , my teachers and friends and all those who had faith in me . 
 sorry for this long introduction I needed to say this to someone , and I think and hope this is the best place.
I'm in 90 day program and I've downloaded the book , I'm checking the programs , steps and other stuff in GYE.com , I really hope I can be one with a shining soul  

Welcome,

We hope so too.

B'hatzlachah

Welcome! You're in a right place! It's good you decided to do something now before it got much worse!

Welcome! 
With Hashem's help and true dedication you will break free. Keep participating in the forum as there's lots to be gained from the experience of other members. 
Hatzlacha! 

welcome Skybird,

Don't forget to come back to your nest/GYE.

 

Welcome,  
Keep posting 

You're in the right place.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  You have your life back.  You are going to take the steps, slowly internalize them, and get your life back.  The future is bright, and you'll find a lot of support on the site.  Hazak V'Amatz! Hashem will help you if you sincerely call out to him! 

To everyone who replied to my story or read it I'm really thankful and it gives me joy and confidence  , I'm really happy to be hear and I hope I won't be disappointing your trust . Thanks again. 

Allow me to add my support as well to the list of guys who have welcomed you.

You are beginning a journey that so many before you have undertook and are in presently happily in recovery. 

Keep smiling and keep truckin'
ONE DAY AT A TIME!