Sooooooooooo...................

How's it going Rightkedusha?

So far it's going good. I added a filter, because after all although I did some wrong things in real life, it all starts out online. Same as those that act out in other ways, for example masturbating, they do it on real life, no? But I don't think I should be so excited, because I went many times for a week without going onto social media (even without trying).  Last night I was alone for a short time and these guilty feelings started making me a little crazy, but I got over it. Now that shabbos is approaching I don't know how it'll go. Because usually shabbos I naturally feel a relief from the online stuff. But this week I was not into it during the week. So I'm wondering how it'll feel for me. I'm still reading the handbook, and didn't officially start the 90 day chart.

Hi Rightkedusha

I do nto know, but I guess you are unhappy with things in your life.
That is why you have met women?
They give you a quick fix, a false "Feel good?"
Am I right?

I suggest a counsellor...someone who can basically act as a sounding board for you to talk to.
They do not have to say much, just provide an environment where you can feel comfortable and open up about yourself and what is troubling you...thenn you can work on changign your life so that you feel better.

So far so good. But the anxiety.... It's sooo painful

Hey RK keep it up. 

It'll get easier with time,  every day a wee bit.

Some days alot. 

Some days you'll feel like you moved backwards, it's just a phase. 

If you would like to, the partner program is great.  Find someone to talk with and vent, it'll make it much easier and more effective. 

Hatzlacha Rabba 

It's not the staying clean that's hard now. It's the guilt.

When we came to SA, we found that in spite of our differences, we shared a common problem - the obsession of lust, usually combined with a compulsive demand for sex in some form. We identified with one another on the inside. Whatever the details of our problem, we were dying spiritually--dying of guilt, fear, and loneliness. As we came to see that we shared a common problem, we also came to see that for us, there is a common solution. (White Book pages 1-2)

The [SA] program doesn't tell us how to stop - we had done that a thousand and one times - it shows us how to keep from starting again. (White book 65)

Rightkedusha wrote on Unknown:

Good.
Me too.
I'm about 2/3 of the way through.
I don't necessarily relate to each and every page,
but sometimes I find it really hitting home with exactly what I need.
I'm wondering why it hasn't been updated in the last few years though.
It's the User Manual to everything GYE and recovery.