Hi. I want to tell a story before I start with the tools...


I learnt two years ago in HarNof Jerusalem in an area full of seminary girls, you already can imagine what happened with me...
After an inconvenient case on the street I decided to stop masturbating for 7 weeks at least...
Although it seemed well, deeply in myself I felt it was going wrong ( I knew myself, I am a very lustfull person witch is constantly feeded by the worst sites on the internet witch with the years gone by caused me to do things almost nearly dangerous enough to go to prison...)
My prophecy came true. On the 50th day my head exploded , I began to lose control on my hands, any movement and I had to run away from public not to be identified as a sick man...
I gave in. But it did not stop there. I grabbed a camera and rushed to the street, making pictures from all the ''people'' there, all day long ... till night, then went back to the yeshiva and again I gave in... and again for many times till I calmed down. I lied on my bed and I began thinking : Why did it end up like this? I thought that my will will break up everything, but instead I ended up being a sick one...

I came to the conclusion : I can't treat my body the way I want to. I am not a machine. I have to address it in a healthy way witch matches my body's frequency...

Dear brothers , if somebody of you can identify yourself with me, can you help me, suggest some helpfull tools? ( for me the blue level is surely not enough for me. too risky.( I am a single) )

Thank you!!

Welcome to GYE. I can identify with you in some ways. Every person experiences it differently, but I also had my crazes where I literally felt out of control. I would wander the streets around my yeshiva looking for some free magazines with some inappropriate images (this was NOT Har Nof, as you can imagine. I have not been back to EY in many years, but I'm assuming you won't find free magazines on street corners in Har Nof...)
Anyway, to start off I suggest you read the GYE Handbook. It full of tools and perspectives to help people deal with these struggles. And in addition, feel free to participate in the forum discussions. I found it very helpful, as 1) it helps break out of isolation and gives you a safe place to express yourself, and 2) you will learn a lot from the more experienced chevra who hang out here.
Enjoy the ride!

I also thought I needed masturbation to survive. Turns out I don't.

Just a little tip: Many people can find it frustrating if the same member creates many new threads. It's a rookie mistake so don't fret. Maybe try to keep your thoughts to one thread. I'm sure people will read it.

Welcome! Read the handbook. Keep posting. You are not alone.