Thank you guys! hoping for one more clean day...

GuideMe wrote:


You're a fast learner! That's a very advanced insight, really! It's one that took me the better part of a year to figure out!

TalmidChaim wrote:


Thanks Chaim, but actually i'm around here for a while now on the forum in hebrew. (more then 400 messages )

but honestly, i can't say i'm actually feeling the "ODAAT" 100%. i'm trying to remember to focus only on the next day. for example, now i'm on my 17th day. and my mind wants to imagine the 'one month'! but i'm trying to think only on the 18th day. For today, i don't have to use.

Have a (at least one) clean day!

Yeah, I know what you mean. Everyone says, "one day at a time," but in practice, it's not an easy thing to do. I think using that sort of thinking also has some disadvantages, but they're far less than the alternative: thinking only about the future, and your next goal. That's what keeps me down, constantly seeing myself as 90 days clean, even sober. It's a crutch. It's a way of skipping all of the hard self work and discipline and recovery, and just arriving at a new and better me. When you think about it, living in the future is really just another coping mechanism (like lust addiction). We need to get down and dirty with recovery, and that means doing it day by (grueling) day, if need be.

Once again, I'm reminding myself of all of this more than telling others here

Thank you very much Chaim.

I feel on the edge. i really want to use. i already spoke with two friends about it but i still really want it... please Hashem save me from myself! i'm helpless

I fell after 19 days

In other words, you succeeded for 18 days. Now pick up, dust off, and get back in the truck!

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 28 Jan 2016 14:17:


And durin' those 18 days, there were probably hundreds of success moments.

B'hatzlachah

Thank you guys. Hashem yevarech etchem.

i had (what is think is) a tough call with my sponser.
he said i didn't suffer enough... (and that is way i don't give up lust.
i feel like i don't want to give up porn & masturbation. and i'm helpless about it.
Help me Hashem!
i'm powerless without you

GuideMe wrote on 28 Jan 2016 17:45:


Will he be subscribin' some more sufferin'?

Yeah my sponsor telling me "Don't wait for feelings"
but taking actions is not easy... i did try to call before... but i didn't really give it up. i didn't want to.
i didn't tooke enough actions.

My sponsor has told me that when I don't feel willing to work a program I should ask god to grant me willingness. But I think I need to, "want to want," in order for it to work.

Shlomo, i think that even if you don't "want to want" you can ask G-d to help you with that too.
there must be a part of you that do want to be clean. and the prove for that is that you're still here.

as for me, i just had a fall. as you can probably imagine, i'm not feeling great right now...
Need some help from above

I will rephrase it then. It is illogical for me to think that god is going to take away my obsessions if I am still holding on to them. My efforts will be futile if while asking him to remove them I am still clenching them close. I need to let go and then let god. Many times I struggle with this, that is where I ask god for him to give me the willingness to let go.

Shlomo24 wrote on 01 Feb 2016 17:34:


Wall said. thank you