gibbor120 wrote:


Ditto both of you on being a do it yourself guy. Trying to let go of that, but I will tell you one thing. Opening up to another person does a few things.

1) When you hear yourself telling the story you realize how absurd it is, and you realize on your own that you need help.

2) You are being honest, and it is the hiding and dishonesty that adds a lot of shame. Paradoxically, it is hiding that creates more shame than being honest.

3) Even if you're a do it yourself guy, you find things that you yourself can put into practice from discussing with others.

Regardless, hatzlacha and have a great Shabbos!

hey OneFootInFrontOf
i had a very similar issue with independence and as a result of it i would continually put myself in very compromising situations so that i could "fight" the YH and "break" it. i felt that any other way would be cheating. as you can imagine this led to me falling many many times... eventually i heard of something called letting go and letting G-d (i think its from the 12 steps) i understand this to mean since G-d is the only power in existence we have to be totally reliant on him to take us through this struggle. therefore any time i feel lust creeping up inside me i mentally let go of it i refuse to enter any form of struggle i say to myself let go and let g-d, i let g-d's strength flow through me and carry me though the difficulties. I know that this sounds mad and you probably think that i am crazy but it has (so far) really worked for me. only after i stated to do this did i feel that i am really healing from the inside like what you seem to be searching for.
it is hard to let go of our independence and perceived strength like gibbor120 said but its part of healing.
wishing you continued hatzlocha
p.s. well done for your solo journey back to yiddishkite kol ha'kavod!

I am also very self-motivated (ie stubborn;) ) and I reached out because I realized that I could do practically everything by myself but I JUST COULDN'T KICK THIS THING! Lust would sucker punch me time and time again and the insanity is that I STILL WENT BACK INTO THE RING! I came to realize that I needed a power greater then myself to keep me sober. Also I learnt in SA and therapy that I would've been much more better off if I had asked for help with life earlier. A life with god on my side constantly completely blows my previous life out of the water.

Hi everyone. To jump in with a question: just under a year ago, I started going to therapy. At the same time, I started tracking my porn use every day. The original intention was not to use it as a benchmark for the success of therapy, but that is partially what I’ve been using it for in the past few months. Since beginning therapy, my porn use has actually increased a little bit and I’m doubtful that I feel psychologically healthier. Does anyone have any experience or thoughts? The fact that therapy seems like another unsuccessful attempt at solving/managing my porn issues is seeming progressively truer after each session...

How has your therapy been in general?  Has it helped you at all?  Do you feel like you have changed as a result?

I could understand increased porn use in the beginning because therapy can be very stressful.  You have to confront and face issues that you would rather not deal with.  That can definitely lead to acting out.

You have been going for about a year.  It could just be that you are stagnating and not getting that much out of therapy.  Maybe it's time for a new therapist. 

That is all just a guess.  Only you know the answer.

Mine got worse over the course of therapy, although the therapy wasn’t directly to deal with pornography. I read a novel idea about therapy recently- that if things aren’t getting better, try something else!

But seriously, it’s hard to know. It could be that it’s part of the process, or it could be that indeed things are getting worse.

What does your therapist have to say about it?

cordnoy wrote on 29 Dec 2015 04:11:

oops,type o, its supposed to say ,experiencin' ,meetin', and openin'

OneFootInFrontOf wrote on 19 Mar 2018 01:05:

maybe ask your therapist to take those playboys out of his waiting room

OneFootInFrontOf wrote on 19 Mar 2018 01:05:

How long have you been going to therapy? It takes a while before it has an effect, usually at least.