Hi H2I,
I am envious of your status - you are zoche to be learning in Kolel in Yerushalayim, and doing meleches shomayim in fighting your YH.

The brain gym idea is awesome, I will bli neder make it my kaboloh for this Elul, focusing on Modim, starting by Mincha this afternoon.

Regarding the addiction question - you sound like you are, as I am, new to GYE, so I suggest don't get hung up on it just yet. I would start with discovering and utilizing the different tools and eitzos on this awesome site, and obviously what your mashgiach tells you.

Here's my 2 cents on your original question, coming from someone who has very little experience or wisdom in this area.
I heard a shmooze once where to paraphrase what the Rav said, when you walk down the street and there is a huge billboard designed and printed by the graphic designer from hell, as a human being and a man, you are automatically programmed to notice it, and your eyes go directly to it in a way that you doesn't happen when you see a sign for something mundane like a dry cleaners. This relieved some stress for me because I no longer get hung up on the initial shockwave that hits when you walk/drive by some pritzus.
The important question is how long will you allow your focus to remain on that image. So one extreme is the boor who will stop and stare with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. On the other extreme, you have the almost tzadik who in a fraction of a millisecond will refocus his attention on something else. (I can't talk about a real tzadik because I have no way to relate to that state). We are all somewhere in between and I am constantly competing with myself to shorten that timespan. In today's world, we measure attention span in milliseconds (see some studies done about online marketing), and I believe we get sechar for every millisecond we deliberately shave off that time.
More important than the sechar, this causes a psychic change and creates a mindset where you are no longer seeing the temptation as a pleasure whose sinfulness adds to the attraction (think mayim genuvim yimtoku), but as a cancer that I am actively fighting against allowing to pollute my mind. After doing this for a while, I noticed that even in times when I am not doing as well as other days, that mindset remains with me, so although my attention time may grow on that day from 0.5 seconds to 1.5 seconds, the accompanying awareness of measuring the attention timespan is still keeping me in the battle.

Didn't intend to go on for so long, maybe that was more like 5 cents than 2 cents.

Hatzlacha Rabah!

It may not BE a hospital, but it sure brings you closer to one!!!

b'hatzlachah

@eslaasos


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Hi eslaasos and welcome!!

First of all Many thanks for your post and best of luck in your challenge.

Second of all I wasn't quite sure what you were referring to by the quote at the top. Please clarify.

I like your idea about the concentration timespan, its good to know our reward is measured by how many milliseconds we control ourselves. Gr8 stuff!!!

@cordnoy




cordnoy...you are one funny man. Keep cracking brother!!

Here 2 improve wrote:


I was hoping I wouldn't have to clarify

Firstly, when you pass an intriguing sight, it's like a tsunami and your buttons are pushed good and hard, as per the design of the Creator who chose to wire your brain that way for your good. This is the first part of the shockwave, and it is more or less universal.
Additionally, due to a somewhat yeshivish exposure in my upbringing, and other factors, I have (less so that previously) been susceptible to yiush. Having a history of not being a superstar in the shmiras enayim area (to put it nicely), I am prone to mistaking that initial blast of hormones as yet another sign of how much of a lowlife I am. This thought pattern has been so well proven to be counter-productive that it is without a doubt a direct memo from the Yetzer Hora.

Recognizing that the first tidal wave is entirely beyond my control helped me to re-train my thought patterns a little bit some of the time.
This may not be relevant to you, but that's the way it works for me.

One more point, you liked the thought that every millisecond of restraint is immensely valuable. While I believe that to be true with some certainty, don't forget this is just my opinion, so don't take it as gospel.

Thank you for clarifying and Thanks for your patience. Lets see where this road takes me!

BH my shmiras aiynayim project is going amazingly.
But still work to do so....
Keep climbing!!

My mashgiach emailed me this for chizuk I would like to share.

A**** we never reach perfection in this world.
life is a journey [or a mountain we must climb]
it is a journey of growth and improvement towards perfecting ourselves.
We have peaks and we have falls.
Perfection is often the enemy of being good, as we tend to shoot ourselves in the leg and fall, if we don’t feel we are perfect.
Even if we get knocked over in the ring, the main thing is get up and keep fighting until the bell rings, which at 120 !
Bahavo raboh

Its been about 2 months since my original post.

Would like to tell anyone who is in there shono rishoina or about to get married.
Life is really beautiful when you control lust.
For those who are getting married do whatever is in your power to 'break free' b4 your marriage.
And for those who are in there shono rishoina STOP b4 its to late.

My marriage was hard at the beginning because I was always comparing to other women.
What can I say...comparing gets you nowhere and lust even further from the truth..

Stay strong and keep climbing then your in for a beautiful life!

wow! great to hear you're doing well!