Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Trying to avoid rock bottom
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: Trying to avoid rock bottom 4295 Views

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 24 Jun 2015 18:38 #257632

  • AlexEliezer
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1922
  • Karma: 56
bezrasH wrote:
Thanks for the warm welcome! Can I start with a quick question? I work in a big city, where in the summer, you cannot go 5 steps without seeing MAJOR pritzus.... It seems 100% impossible to avoid seeing anything, and when I do, my mind goes straight to where it shouldn't. How do people avoid this?


bezrasH wrote:
Thanks everyone!
I am BH closing in on 2 weeks, but I can't say it's getting easier with time. My yeitzer hara is just dying to win out on me today! Its like a voice saying "why bother - u think you can live like this FOREVER?" Even though I've been "clean" so far, I still catch myself looking all over the street and taking it all in. I feel like it's all piling up on me and its just a matter of time until I break c"V..... how do I get that positive energy back that I started with 2 weeks ago??


It's do-able. You're struggling mightily.
Struggling because you're looking. You recognize that this fuels your lust.
This is why you feel like "it's all piling up on me." Because it is.
Yes, pretty girls are everywhere.
It's very, very hard not to look.
Especially when we're addicted to that little buzz we get when we do.
And the buzz we get when we start to fantasize.
Eventually these buzzes, these mini-doses of our lust drug build up our need for a lust feast.
We indulge it. We feel temporary relief. Then the misery repeats.

The only place we can break the cycle is with our eyes and our minds.
Yes, it hurts, kills, to look away, to fix our gaze on some inanimate object instead.
Over and over and over. Time after time. All freaking day long.
Every time. THIS time too.
But all we're ever asked to do is get past THIS nisayon.
Don't look THIS time.
Don't fantasize now.

Already noticed a fantasy grabbing hold of the brain?
Daven. Ask Hashem to take it. Verbally surrender it to Hashem.
Ask him to take your lust.
Tell him you don't want to lust; that you surrender your lust to Him.

One nisayon at a time.
One day at a time.
That's how life is lived.
That's how sobriety is achieved.
Just for today.

I did just what you're doing for over 30 years.
A prisoner of lust.
But I changed.
I can honestly say I haven't checked out a woman on the street in over 6 years.
And guess what -- I have been able to overcome the urge to do the other stuff for the same time.

You can do it.
One day at a time.
It adds up
to a life.
Last Edit: 24 Jun 2015 18:43 by AlexEliezer.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 24 Jun 2015 20:45 #257650

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
Of course ideally we can avoid those situations entirely.... this has just been helpful for me as I know there is no way for me to get to work, for example, without seeing tons of pritzus on the way. We should still be trying our best to avoid and davening that we aren't confronted with the nisayon to begin with.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 24 Jun 2015 21:08 #257651

  • abd297
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 282
  • Karma: 12
Welcome aboard bezrasH. I'm also new here and have already gotten a warm welcome and good advice just in the 2 days I'm here! I know exactly how you grew up and am in a very similar situation. I even told myself the same things you have for years. I'm a little younger than you but can totally relate. Just keep posting and reading and you will gain a lot of support and advice. We are together in this. Keep it up!
Let Hashem Do His Job!

We need to jump off the conveyor belt of life and walk on our own.

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
Last Edit: 24 Jun 2015 22:01 by abd297. Reason: Spelling error

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 24 Jun 2015 21:24 #257654

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
Thanks and welcome to you too!

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 25 Jun 2015 00:31 #257672

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11525
  • Karma: 578
You must be doing something right if ae posted on your thread, and a hell of a post it was. ..true odaat....for six years!

Bhatzlachah to all
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 28 Jun 2015 03:59 #257916

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
One nisayon at a time.
One day at a time.
That's how life is lived.
That's how sobriety is achieved.
Just for today.

Thanks R' AlexEliezer - your words ("and success") are a tremendous chizzuk!

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 28 Jun 2015 04:13 #257917

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
AlexEliezer - thanks so much for this post. incredible chizuk and much appreciated. Your success is inspiring!

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 28 Jun 2015 08:29 #257927

  • dd
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • כל זמן שהנשמה בקרבי מודה אני לפניך
  • Posts: 879
  • Karma: 42
Welcome bezrasH!!!

Your in the right place and doing the right thing b"h. Its all about staying in the all game and of course one day at a time.

Your a inspiration to all so Keep On Monster Trucking KOMT!!!

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 29 Jun 2015 19:23 #258076

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
Okay so..... whats considered having a "fall" in this 90 day count? Lets just say I've had a rough start to my slow day at work and have looked at some things I shouldn't have.... should I be starting over? Or keep going with the count as long as I don't act on it.... I'm assuming I've failed already? any thoughts?

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 29 Jun 2015 19:32 #258080

  • abd297
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 282
  • Karma: 12
Check out the rules for what constitutes a slip or a fall. It doesn't cover everything but it's a good basis. It should be under the 90 day chart page.
Let Hashem Do His Job!

We need to jump off the conveyor belt of life and walk on our own.

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 29 Jun 2015 20:29 #258084

  • godhelp
  • Current streak: 3 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 192
  • Karma: 47
Late Welcome but welcome
You made a great choice by joining this unbelievable community.

Stick around and you will learn what works for you and how to overcome your lust one step at a time one tip at a time.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 30 Jun 2015 00:28 #258101

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11525
  • Karma: 578
bezrasH wrote:
Okay so..... whats considered having a "fall" in this 90 day count? Lets just say I've had a rough start to my slow day at work and have looked at some things I shouldn't have.... should I be starting over? Or keep going with the count as long as I don't act on it.... I'm assuming I've failed already? any thoughts?


Keep Goin'
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 30 Jun 2015 16:48 #258160

  • bezrasH
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 12
  • Karma: 1
Instead of making excuses for myself, I admitted it was a fall and Im starting again. The good news is, when I fall, it usually takes me days to get out of it, because I tell myself, I already fell, whats the use. But BH this morning I had an incredible test for a couple of hours with my computer, and I passed! Not gonna let this fall get me down.....
Thanks for everyone's encouragement. I'll get there bezras Hashem!

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 30 Jun 2015 18:05 #258184

  • godhelp
  • Current streak: 3 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 192
  • Karma: 47
Really Glad you got up really fast
My experience is after a fall comes after shocks hold on really tight and be ready.
When you leave you house say a short prayer, it might help.

Re: Trying to avoid rock bottom 01 Jul 2015 18:52 #258334

  • AlexEliezer
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1922
  • Karma: 56
Rock on bro!
Time to create page: 0.47 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes