Check out the thread "Disgust Cancels Lust" March 24

i sent you a PM

A friend was talking to me today and mentioned in passing what his Rav said in shul. The Rabbi quoted some source(I will find out if someone is so interested) that the reason a Kohen Gadol is not allowed to marry a widow is that he may in the kodesh kedoshim on yom kippur - have his mind wonder and he'll think of some married lady that he would like for himself- and that could lead to her dying - therefore - the Torah assurs a widow to him outright - this wil lessen the chance that he will think of a married woman 'cause once a woman is married she could never be mutar to him anyway.
I am mentioning this for only one particular reason. It appears from some of our posts that we get down because of lusting.
and yeah, they way we have been dealing with lust has been many times both different and more extreme than the the general population.
Having said that, sometimes we forget that lusting bichlal is a challenge to the general population as well. Hey, even the kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur might just slip!

Inspiring and reconforting, thank you vm for the share !

If you could find the source, I am interested. Beautiful vort.

Sure, I will work on it.

Imrei Noam; RaCh Paltiel; R"I MIvina

One of the foundations on which recovery is based is that Hashem comes in with great hashgacha pratis and takes over the reins. One could really ask: so why be so happy with sobriety? After all, what have I really accomplished? For the King of kings, our father who is limitless in ability just took over. Did I really do anything that I should be so proud?
Of course with a little thought the question is easily answered in a number of ways. Here are but a few.
Firstly, hakol bashamaim chutz miyirashamaim It was I who decided to change my life. And for those that say but I was at rock bottom I had no choice- not so! There are some who even at that point just turn over and play dead. Especially since we all know the frustration and hopelessness that is felt by the cycle of failure-teshuveh - and failure again- multiple times.
So it was us who made the decision to change. Secondly, it is us who continue to put in an hishtadlus daily- one day at a time.
Chachamim tell us that Yagata umaztatzaTa'aminWhy umatzasa? because even after we have truly tried(yagata)it is still not automatically coming to us. It is like a metziya - an object that we found- a gain we don't truly deserve- our yegiya does not truly cut it -for the reward that we ultimately receive.
So why be so happy?
I'll tell you what moves me.
If you study just a little of science and nature we begin to get a small inkling of the greatness of Hashem. or should I say we begin to see the we can't even fathom his greatness. The Study of Jewish History( R'ebYaakov Emdin in his introduction to the siddur)writes about the fact that we Jews are still around -a lamb(Jewish people) amongst 70 wolves(nations of the world) is a bigger miracle than Krias yam suf.
Add to that, the depth of the Torah - we further get a mere glimse of the endless greatness of Hashem.
Now we know that any sobriety we have comes from Hashem. So we must say to ourselves "He who is so great. Yet it is also he who cares so much to personally get involved in my life and change my nature and situations so I can stay sober.
King David wrote " what is man that you should remember him?" yet you do! you remember me!
That means you cherish me!
Is there a better feeling than that?