Don't underestimate the sad time after a fall. It is useful. Don't just get up again, dust yourself off and go for another ride.
First remember how the feeling of a fall is just awful- so the next time you get the familiar tingle and for just a moment your senses are cloudy and you have that urge to act out in some way - RECALL THIS MOMENT
What to do now?

take a deep breath - it stinks but all those guys you respect with oodles of sobriety behind them, all went through ups and downs until they finally got in the groove and were loyal to their program

Stay connected to the forum and keep communicating. even though at this time you may not know how to change your approach - everyone truly cares- no one judges- we all want to celebrate your achievement

People here will begin to guide you and you need the friendship and understanding that only we -who have really experienced such struggles can give you.

Gut Shabbos/Shabbat Shalom