Not that I'm having any problems today, but practice makes perfect. Does a boxer wait until he gets in the ring, before he practices his moves. Maybe the more I ingrain this into my brain, when I do create a problem I'll be ready. I say "I create" because 90% of the time (maybe 100%) I at least have some part (if not all) in bringing about the problem.

Page 417 Acceptance
A.A. – Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

You ever go to a major amusement park on the 4th of July. The lines are long, the heat is beating down on you and the wait is unbearable. The kids are complaining, people are sneaking through the line and the drink you spent 8 bucks on is now letting you know that you need a rest room now. You stand through tons of pure misery for 30 seconds of fun. Lust is the opposite of that. You get your 30 seconds of fun up front and then you sit through all the pure misery.

(heard that basic idea from Bob & Scott AA CD. They said it much better)

Part of the reading from the 10PM call tonight. How often do we hear the first sentence of this reading here?:

Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.
Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with
alcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead. The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted.
Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who
came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped
blowin’?’’

Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead."

i read some of your first messages serenity i am so inspired i could see you have changed so much it makes me believing in it more and more
yshar koach for all the thoughts you are sharing!!!!

and who said there are only 4 sons?!

As pointed out on the GYE evening call tonight there are recordings of GYE talks available by dialing in. Yitzchak G. recommended recording number. Here is the info to call in:

dial 2092551099 access code 637207# select talk number 19



Lets Live in the solution!

Hello my Friend Serenity,
Just dropping in to say hello and get some energy that your postings radiate!
I hope all is wonderful in your life.

I can't think for one second that sobriety is anything close to impossible. I can't think for one second that Dov is a rare exception. I have to believe that so long as I follow my program today, Hashem will keep me sober. That while Dov s special to Hashem, so am I. And if He is there for Dov, He will be there for me as well.

We talk about triggering words and discussions here in the forums. We worry about people using graphic language, getting too detailed or being overly suggestive. I don't know if that kind of discussion is triggering or unhealthy for my sobriety or not, but what I do know for certain is that when someone says abstinence from masturbation is nearly impossible, that's triggering for me. So if I have a harsh response to someone saying that, it because I've gone onto fight or flight mode. When one of the basic tenets of my sobriety is being questioned, in other words when something hits me in the gut, I become defensive and protective from that threat. Or maybe it just reminds me of just how weak I am and that's hard to face.

Anyway I wanted to share that, so thanks for listening.


Alco_1893007162_6p_01_r5.qxd 4/4/03 11:17 AM Page 58
Chapter 5
HOW IT WORKS
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has
thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not
recover are people who cannot or will not completely
give themselves to this simple program, usually men
and women who are constitutionally incapable of be­
ing honest with themselves. There are such unfortu­
nates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been
born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasp­
ing and developing a manner of living which demands
rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional
and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if
they have the capacity to be honest.


כִּי-קָרוֹב אֵלֶיךָ הַדָּבָר מְאֹד
בְּפִיךָ וּבִלְבָבְךָ לַעֲשֹׂתו

Ki karov eylecha ha'davar me'od
be'ficha u'levavcha la'asoto

Because the matter is very close to you
In your mouth and your heart to do it


רְאֵה נָתַתִּי לְפָנֶיךָ הַיּוֹם
אֶת-הַחַיִּים וְאֶת-הַטּוֹב

Re'eh natati lefanecha ha'yom
Et ha'chaim ve'et ha'tov

Behold, I have placed today before you
Life and the good



אֶת-לְבָבְךָ
וְאֶת-לְבַב זַרְעֶךָ
לְאַהֲבָה
אֶת-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ

Et levavcha
Ve'et levav zarecha
Le'ahavah
Et HASHEM elokecha

[And g!d will circumcise] Your heart
And the heart of your offspring
For love
Of Hashem your g!d

Bridge,

בְּכָל-לְבָבְךָ
וּבְכָל-נַפְשְׁךָ
לְמַעַן חַיֶּיךָ

Be'chol levavcha
U'vechol nafshecha
Le'ma'an chayecha

With your whole heart
And with your whole soul
For the sake of your life

I just took steps six and seven and I share that with you so you have evidence that there are people here working the steps and finding freedom and serenity in doing so.

I'm listening to Bill S - Detroit step seminar which is a great aid to go though the steps. He points out something interesting on page 77 of the Big Book. The relevant portion says: "Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maxi­mum service to God and the people about us". It doesn't say our main purpose is to "be of maximum service" but to "fit ourselves to be." We aren't substituting one obsession for another. We aren't substituting being of service in the program for the obsession of lust. We are making ourselves fit for service. The way we do that is to work to improve our spiritual condition.

Good stuff , Thank You !

Thanks newaction!

While I'm here, I should probably update what's going on. I'm celebrating 4 months of sobriety and I'm very grateful for that. This is were I started to get complacent when I first started here and in SA. It does me no good to be anxious about that, so I hereby surrender my anxiety and ask Hashem to remove it. It's also 9 months without any P or MZL. I believe that is a record. Yesterday I was foolish enough to take in lust in the streets. Last night I think I was in danger in falling. I didn't fight, complain about or engage the thoughts feelings though. I knew exactly why they there (I had brought them there) and I chose not to pursue them or think about them. I now know that I don't have to let those thoughts and feelings control me. I also know that if I fight them, I'm really just engaging them. It's kind of like falling backwards relying on someone to catch you.

We don't have to put to much thought before acting out on the porn we view. How come we have to put so much thought before acting out on what we see works for others in the program? Program principles often become an intense and lofty debate as to whether or not they will work for me. How about try it and see if it works

There were many program suggestions that I didn't think would work and even seemed counter intuitive and even as I saw them working I still kept my doubts.

I love that blinking smiley.

serenity wrote:


Everyone wanting to change and transcend is a rare exception ; very cherished and rare though.
And the general rule is that anybody can choose to be part of the rare exception. All the paths are open to take us wherever we REALLY want to go. It is just up to us to make the decision .