I'm actually having difficulty fully understanding the situation, could you slow down a bit and give us a bit of background.

How old are you? Do you have a girlfriend? What's the story with girls in the apartment? What's the story at work? How long has this been going on for? Is it just porn or masturbation as well or more than that. Please be specific without being descriptive.

Yup. You guys are rite. Some good points thanks.guys. I think the hardest aspect is to accept that I don't have control I just simply dont. But will try one hour at a time because I

Basically dr. I don't even know myself I'm probably considered a freak. I've been a major addict my whole life. D.s.g.a.m.etc. I'm 24. Been doing this stuff for to long. I have a aprtment with a freind and his girl freinds. Have lots of women rolling through. I don't have a girl friend relationship although i have girl freinds that come to my aprtment and i know in the neighborhood i have a business with female employees. The girls are every were. One look causes me to implode unless i do it. Problem is with porn mastrb. Sounds odd but I'm Luke the guy the girls come to when they need some and of course who says no when they just come over and jump on top of u. Or it starts with a touch and then oy vey. Wtvr. O don't know I've fought many addictions my whole life but this one i hate with a passion because it makes me feel so dirty and like all day it's just normal for me to watch porn for hours on end

What is D.s.g.a.m?

It sounds like it would be good for you to find a different place to live, for starters.

im assuming d s g a m means drugs, sex, gambling, alcohol, maybe m is masturbation? money? monkeys? that last one would be really weird though.

Recovery is one step at a time. We all have our particular drives, but we all have the same goal.

vidui, charata and kabalah (confession, regret and resolving not to sin again) are the normal steps for teshuva BUT Rabbeinu YOnah says that when someone is completely submerged in sin the first thing they need to do is stop. They dont need to feel bad or confess. Just find a practical way to stop now. I would concur that yoor current situation will make it very very hard to stop.

Would you consider seeing a therapist to help you through the process?

Wow that sounds tough. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to stay sober under those conditions.

How did you end up in such a situation? How do plan on dealing with this?

Nabil, are you still here?

welcome...sorry, I have been away.

Seems like the advice of the oilam to take it slow is the best first step for you.